Major News: TheEricHammer Has Expanded To Facebook

Breaking news from the world of the internet.  The brand known as TheEricHammer.com has expanded into additional media platforms.  The lifestyle blog has taken on a new venture in the social media space.  The ‘TheEricHammer.com’ Facebook page is officially live.  I spoke with the site’s creator and sole operator.  His quote:

“We’re very excited to continue our growth.  This endeavor is another challenge that we’re happy to tackle head on, and we’re looking forward to the future.  Our team feels strongly that this path will lead our site to significantly more page views, earning its rightful recognition as a subsequent result.  The content will not falter in the slightest.  In fact, be on the lookout for exciting new content.  TheEricHammer.com is transitioning towards becoming a respectable and formidable multimedia corporation.  The sky is the limit.” – Eric Hammer (@TheEricHammer)

So there you have it, kids.  Have at it.  No need to search the depths of Twitter for links to the blogs.  Links with small summary blurbs will be posted to the Facebook page in real time, just moments after publishing.  Technology has proven to be advantageous time and time again, and this opportunity appears to be no different.  And if you thought that you’d be visiting a brand new page with a barren wall including zero content, think again.  This page already has over one month’s worth of blogs just waiting to be read.  So go nuts.  Click the links and get lost in TheEricHammer.com.  Smoke some weed and lose track of time.  The site is fully functional and interactive, so don’t be afraid to get involved.  Like the page.  Invite your friends.  Invite your parents.  Invite your doctor and all their patients if you can get a list of their registry despite that being highly illegal due to the Physician-Patient Privilege act.


Recent Blogs:

Rutgers Tailgate Lot Shut Down Because Administration Simply Doesn’t Get It

I Hate Jaden Smith’s Twitter Avi

The Girl I Saw In A Neck Brace And Carrying A Neck Pillow Is Milking It

Nickelodeon Theme Park To Replace The Disaster Known As Xanadu

Freshman Sends A List Of Demands To Future Roommates And I Love This Move


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Rutgers Tailgate Lot Shut Down Because Administration Simply Doesn’t Get It

Daily Targum:  The Alley, a student tailgate sponsored by Rutgers Athletics for all seven home football games in the 2016 season, is being shut down permanently after the first two games due to “safety concerns,” an anonymous source familiar with the situation told The Daily Targum. Rutgers Athletics confirmed the report in a tweet.

The decision was not made by Rutgers Athletics, according to the source. “I feel the world for the athletics department right now,” the source told the Targum. “They busted their backs to give us something that’s ours and something to be proud of. We finally have an athletic program ready and willing to give us the (Big Ten) environment we’ve been yearning for three years now. But it’s just another frustrating instance of the University refusing to work with us.” …

“The Alley will be a fun, exciting place where students can get together on gameday,” said Rutgers Athletic Director Pat Hobbs in a statement announcing The Alley on Aug. 31. “There was a need to address the tailgating options for our students and we are excited to provide them with this opportunity.” Hobbs gained attention on social media over the weekend when a video surfaced of him sipping what appeared to be a beer given to him by a student at the lot while he gave a speech prior to the Rutgers football team’s game against New Mexico.

 

Hobbs told NJ Advanced Media’s Keith Sargeant that picking up the beer was a “mistake” and he did it as he “was trying to restore order to what was turning out to be an unruly atmosphere.” “My first concern is always the safety and well-being of our students. Anyone who was at The Alley on Saturday knows that I was acting to ensure that,” Hobbs said in a statement issued Tuesday. “I regret that any action on my part could be interpreted as promoting the use of alcohol. That was certainly not my intention.” …


Recent Blogs:

I Hate Jaden Smith’s Twitter Avi

The Girl I Saw In A Neck Brace And Carrying A Neck Pillow Is Milking It

Nickelodeon Theme Park To Replace The Disaster Known As Xanadu

Freshman Sends A List Of Demands To Future Roommates And I Love This Move

This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines


Warning: I have many thoughts about this and many emotions intertwined with my feedback and complaints.  Thank you in advance for understanding.

What a mess we have in New Brunswick/Piscataway, a mess so large that I can’t do anything but type angrily from behind my keyboard.  We can point fingers in any number of directions here.  If Rutgers football fielded a better team, more people would want to go to the games.  If the relationship with NBPD was more civil, the tailgating atmosphere could be radically different.  If Pat Hobbs didn’t drink that beer, maybe the curmudgeon administration wouldn’t be up in arms.  If the aforementioned curmudgeon administration had a goddamn clue, the student body could come together.  Those are all to blame in some aspect.  I’ll try to break them all down.  As an alumni that has seen both sides of the tailgating culture at Rutgers, I can give a refreshing perspective with some substance and experience to back it up.

First and foremost I’d like to address the new Athletic Director Pat Hobbs.  A tip of the cap is in order above all else because it’s no easy task to take on an Athletics Department in a state of utter turmoil.  The university and its athletic units have been a popular topic of controversy in recent years.  It seems like every 6 months or so we’re going through the same bad press for some new scandal or story.  Thus far, Hobbs has done a fabulous job.  He’s in a tough spot trying to taking a school from the ground level and put them on a path to succeed in the Big Ten.  Asking him to turn around the program overnight, recruit the best athletes in the nation, and beat Michigan and Ohio State is not only asking a lot, but it’s unrealistic.  With that being said, Hobbs seems to have a good head on his shoulders and is working diligently to change the reputation and atmosphere within Rutgers Athletics.

Now I’m not totally educated on how The Alley was organized or who was responsible for it, but it’s my understanding that Hobbs was a major player in doing so.  The tailgating lifestyle at Rutgers has been nonexistent for years.  When I was a student, the Blue Lot was the premier location on game day.  You couldn’t walk 10 ft without bumping into students.  Around every corner was a joint tailgate with fraternities, sororities, students, fans, and everyone in between.  By 8am, every student was on or on their way to the Blue Lot for a tailgate.  And after the tailgate, most of us went to the game, even if just for a little bit.  That was the culture.  Over time, the cops grew stricter and tailgates begun to get shut down within minutes of anything remotely rowdy commencing.  In quick work, student tailgates were more or less eradicated.  Students were resorted to tailgate pregame on College Ave.

And that’s how it’s been for the last 3 years or so.  The football team sucked, so the average student had no reason to trek to Busch campus.  The Alley was a necessity for Rutgers students.  From what I saw and heard, it looked like a great fucking time.  One designated area where students can booze and tailgate (and have fun) together?  Unprecedented at Rutgers.  If you’re gonna roll with the elite in the Big Ten, you need to give the school something to rally around.  And that goes well beyond the players on the field.  There needs to be a football culture surrounding the city.  Without the student body participating in that, it’s all for naught.  Pat Hobbs is on a mission to change the culture of Rutgers football, and The Alley is was a great first step.

Objectively speaking, if I’m at a tailgate and the fucking AD shows up, gets on the back of a pickup truck, grabs the mic, delivers an all time rally speech, and chugs a beer, I’m probably dropping my pants and running laps.  I can’t imagine the adrenaline that gives students.  You know who never did and never would ever do that?  Julie fucking Hermann.  That reactive buffoon has never motivated anyone to do anything other than the Asian guy at Men’s Warehouse to hurry up with her newest pant suit.  Not only do I not have any issue with Hobbs drinking a beer, I respect the hell out of it.  Someone needs to shake things up in Piscataway, and that’s exactly what Pat Hobbs did.  THAT is how you get the people going.

These uppity administrators don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and don’t hesitate to ruin a good thing.  That statement from Hobbs looks like he acted on his own, unsolicited, and issued a public apology.  Anybody with half a brain knows that’s garbage.  That clown Robert Barchi and his loyal band of idiots forced that apology out of Hobbs.  He’s taking the fall for something that literally nobody took offense to.  It’s a damn shame that Hobbs personally had to put out the mea culpa and attach his name to it.  If you have a problem with college students drinking and tailgating for a college football game, then you’re a fucking asshole.  Plain and simple.  The administration doesn’t want to perpetuate an environment with such, which from a legal standpoint makes sense.  However, if you think you can prevent college kids from partying, maybe you should be working at The School of the Blind instead of the State University of New Jersey.

My final point focuses on the theme of mediocrity.  Rutgers Athletics as a hole has been a disappointment in every sense of the word.  I’d be willing to bet that “disappointment” is one of the more pleasant descriptions you’d get if you ask around.  The move to the Big Ten up to this point has been an absolute disaster.  It will take time, no doubt about it.  But the decision makers are only hindering the process.  I’ll put this in very simple form.  If the football team stinks, students will not want to travel to the campus to watch said football team.  If there are fun tailgates on that campus, students will go to said campus and probably attend the game as well.  If you remove said tailgates from said campus, said students will not go to said game.  Recruits will not want to play in an empty stadium in front of a lackluster student section.  The cycle goes round and round.  And so the dissension between students and administrators continues at Rutgers.  Figure it out.  The move to shut down The Alley was a myopic decision with no merit other than the fact that the AD is drinking in front of students.  Spare me.

I’ve said my piece.  Apologies for the language.

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I Hate Jaden Smith’s Twitter Avi

jaden

 

Jaden Smith would have an all white Twitter avi.  That’s just the kind of asshole he is.  Last time we were here I had nothing but nice things to say about Mr. Smith.  As a man of honor I gave him his due credit because it was a savvy move ousting himself like that.  But I’ve since moved on because he’s back at it again with the white profile pic (nailed that one).  It takes a special kind of egomaniac to make your Twitter picture all white.  It’s easy to have no picture and operate as a Twitter egg.  But to upload a white picture and use that is arguably the most narcissistic move Jaden’s ever pulled, aside from (of course) wearing a Camelbak to the Bieber Roast.  Every time his name pops up on my Twitterfeed it looks like my computer is spazzing and not loading all the images.  Nope it’s actually just Jaden Smith being a dick as per usual.

It’s no wonder Iman Shumpert slid into your girl’s DMs.  Oh yeah, I went there.  Wassup?


Recent Blogs:

The Girl I Saw In A Neck Brace And Carrying A Neck Pillow Is Milking It

Nickelodeon Theme Park To Replace The Disaster Known As Xanadu

Freshman Sends A List Of Demands To Future Roommates And I Love This Move

This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines

Chipotle Drone Delivery Service Piloting At Virginia Tech


The Girl I Saw In A Neck Brace And Carrying A Neck Pillow Is Milking It

This was more or less the girl that I saw today at the subway station.  Totally braced up at the neck like a cheerleader who fell off the top of the pyramid.  I can’t remember the last time I saw someone in a neck brace.  It sort of caught me off guard.  I won’t say it was funny because it’s not, but I’d be lying if I didn’t assess the situation and my main thought was “whoa”.  Just a quick whoa.  Not a haha whoa, just a surprised whoa.  Freaked me out for a second.

She also happened to be carrying one of those neck pillows.  It took half a second for me to realize that this girl is a fraud.  She may have a boo boo on her neck, but she’s milking it for attention.  The sole purpose of a neck pillow is so that when you’re sleeping your neck doesn’t fall over and break and roll on the floor down the aisle to the front of the bus.  A neck brace, in principal, does exactly that job.  In fact, a neck brace does is infinitely more efficient than a neck pillow.  You quite literally cannot move your neck when it’s in a brace.

So the possibility that she would take the neck brace off to then use a neck pillow is null and void.  You can take that and throw it in the trash because fundamentally it makes zero sense.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she put the pillow around the neck brace.  Attention seeking like you read about.  You can’t pull the sheet over my eyes, babe.  Maybe in the morning before work when I’m half asleep and unaware.  Not when I bust out of the office when my endorphins are through the roof and my brain is on high alert.  Quit milking it.  Stop hamming it up for sympathy points.  Take your neck brace and fuck off.


Recent Blogs:

Nickelodeon Theme Park To Replace The Disaster Known As Xanadu

Freshman Sends A List Of Demands To Future Roommates And I Love This Move

This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines

Chipotle Drone Delivery Service Piloting At Virginia Tech

If You’re Not In Your Seat By The End Of The 1st Quarter It’s No Longer Your Seat


Nickelodeon Theme Park To Replace The Disaster Known As Xanadu

NJ: Welcome to the Meadowlands, SpongeBob Squarepants. The undersea cartoon is one of the Nickelodeon properties that will be part of a theme park announced for American Dream Meadowlands. Triple Five, the developer of American Dream, and Nickelodeon say Nickelodeon Universe will be the largest indoor theme park in the Western Hemisphere at 8.5 acres. Its rides and attractions will be based on Nickelodeon characters like SpongeBob, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Blaze and the Monster Machines. …

American Dream covers about 3 million square feet and has signed up tenants including Saks Fifth Avenue and Lord & Taylor. Aside from the indoor amusement and theme parks, the complex will include a 16-story indoor ski slope, a 285-foot Ferris wheel, a Sea Life Aquarium and Legoland Discovery Center. …

The project was first proposed under the name Xanadu in 2002, but was racked by a series of delays that have left it unfinished. Triple Five, New Jersey and previous developers have poured billions of dollars into American Dream.


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This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines

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The Jig Is Up For All Who Snapchat The Final Countdown Leading Up To NFL Red Zone Kickoff


It’s about time.  Xanadu was the biggest disaster in New Jersey’s history, way worse than any blizzard or hurricane.  This gigantic ugly structure has plagued the Meadowlands for as long as I can remember.  I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be an indoor ski slope with a hotel and mall attached.  All in all, it was a terrible idea.  An indoor ski slope doesn’t fundamentally make any sense to me anyway.  It was a preposterous concept and it looks fucking ridiculous.  For years I’ve been hearing rumors about it being finished or knocked down.  Finally we have an answer: a Nickelodeon theme park.  I have no interest in indoor theme parks, but any idea is better than letting a vacant orange ramp continue to rot away in East Rutherford.

I have no opinion one way or the other on this new plan.  Assuming it actually comes about and materializes, I suppose I’m all for it.  I’ve been irrationally angry for more than half my life because of this stupid building doing nothing other than take up precious space, it’s about time they fill it with human people.  Realistically they should have turned it into a casino.  If the lawmakers would open their eyes and realize that sports gambling would bring stupid amounts of revenue to the state, then the race track and what-used-to-be-Xanadu could coexist in harmony, serving as one entertainment epicenter for sports gambling.

A giant food court also wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.  Bust out some windows on the side of that colossal incline and stick an Applebees on the top level.  Boom, dollar signs.  Maybe a Dave & Buster’s.  I’m an ideas guy, someone should have called me years ago.  I would have loved to get involved in revamping a project that was at the bottom of the garbage bag.  But for now I’ll sit behind my keyboard masked by anonymity on a Friday night in the darkness of my bedroom dungeon.  Yeah so what, who’s askin?

Freshman Sends A List Of Demands To Future Roommates And I Love This Move

FOX25“Okay so I’m not sure why neither of you responded back to my emails, but I don’t really care as long as you both know this and understand that I’m not going to settle for anything less than what I’m gonna tell you that I’m gonna get once I arrive in the dorm. I’ll take the top bunk. I DO NOT want the single bunk where it has a desk underneath the top bunk so don’t try to leave me that. I’m also taking one of the white closets. There should be two white closes and I’m taking one of them. I don’t care which one it is, just know I’m taking one of them.

“I want the desk that’s near the window. Plain and simple. I don’t care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know that what I stated above is what I’m expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won’t be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because one of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. IF needed be I’ll turn it into a bigger situation so don’t try me.

“Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude. I don’t like being ignored because that’s just rude but that’s what you both decided to do so I decided to make it clear now on the kind of person I am and what I will and will not take.

“So as a final reminder: I am getting the top bunk of the bunk bed with the bed on the bottom, I am getting one of the white closes and I’m getting the desk near the window. That’s fair enough to ask considering that I’m giving up fighting for the top bunk.”


Recent Blogs:

This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines

Chipotle Drone Delivery Service Piloting At Virginia Tech

If You’re Not In Your Seat By The End Of The 1st Quarter It’s No Longer Your Seat

The Jig Is Up For All Who Snapchat The Final Countdown Leading Up To NFL Red Zone Kickoff

I Had An Awkward Encounter With A Potentially Blind Man On The Subway Yesterday


You have to respect this move.  Leave nothing to chance.  You’re playing Russian Roulette if you’re leaving your random roommate selection to chance.  You may as well set the ground rules from the get go.  I didn’t want to live with someone I knew at college, and I ended up striking gold with my random roommate.  He was from Cyprus and he turned 21 a month into our freshman year.  I liked to consider him my European lottery ticket.  He also happened to be a good dude and remains a friend to this day.  I can’t imagine that’s the case for many random freshman roommates.  My roommate set the ground rules on me as well but by showing up before me.  So when I got there he already picked which side of the room he was taking.  Savvy move.  Avoiding the confrontation by simply marking his territory before I even showed up.  Evidently college kids these days don’t think at that complexity.

Obviously it comes off a little overbearing when you send an aggressive list of demands followed by a rage-fueled second email.  The email aspect of it is very weird.  Ever heard of a text message?  Whatever, man.  It sounds like it’s gonna be three roommates in one room with 2 closets.  What the fuck kind of college is this?  That’s some kind of bullshit.  I’m no math expert but I can crunch simple numbers.  My findings show that three people cannot share two closets.  That would require one person to split half of their belongings between two closets, getting 1/3 of each.  Who’s gonna agree to that?  Nobody.  So at the end of the day, one person is getting an entire closet.  The other two split the second closet and they bring in some extra drawers or a dresser.  That’s it.

One last thing.  And this is the biggest standout to me of the entire letter.  Why would someone ever request a top bunk?  If I heard that my roommate was demanding the top bunk, I’d drive them to college myself and watch them get up there and make their bed like a fucking idiot.  She’s demanding the worst bed of the three and won’t listen to a counteroffer?  Damn she drives a hard bargain.  It’s hard not to respect someone emailing a list of demands including the worst demand of all time.  And then they say they’re doing the group a favor by demanding the worst bed in advance to avoid confrontation in regards to the aforementioned bed.  “Giving up fighting for the top bunk”.  Honestly I don’t really understand what that means but I love it.

 

 

 

This Rugby Kid Has Stolen International Headlines

 

Who’s baby is this?!  WHO’S BABY IS THIS?!  Rumblin, bumblin, stumblin!  This isn’t even fair.  Obviously this kid is seven years older than everyone else, but don’t tell him that.  Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl.  This machine is running everyone over.  He’s literally going out of his way to initiate the contact and stiff arm every fucking defender into oblivion.  I think at one point he went the wrong direction so he could truck stick an additional slew of poor souls.  What do you feed a kid like this?  I like to imagine that he’s strictly on a red meat diet.  Iron levels through the roof.  No joke, he looks like DK in Mario Kart when you get the star and you can drive through anything and everything in your path.  Total destruction.  One of the top young athletes in all the land.


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Chipotle Drone Delivery Service Piloting At Virginia Tech

If You’re Not In Your Seat By The End Of The 1st Quarter It’s No Longer Your Seat

The Jig Is Up For All Who Snapchat The Final Countdown Leading Up To NFL Red Zone Kickoff

I Had An Awkward Encounter With A Potentially Blind Man On The Subway Yesterday

Mickey Gall Is Fighting CM Punk This Saturday