The New Optimum Remote Has Become A Major Inconvenience For Me

What may sound like a joke is not a joke at all.  This is a first world problem to the nth degree, but it’s something that has been bothering me.  Funny enough I catch myself most often complaining about little things, trivial details to most, but I can quickly put big things into perspective and not be affected by the more serious issues.  Stick whatever label you want on this complaint, I welcome all criticisms; pretentious comes to mind, I’m the first to admit it.  I’m not sure if that self awareness gives me carte blanche of any sort to elaborate on my dissatisfaction, but I don’t think it hurts.  Should I be exonerated completely from any brushback?  No way.  But just know that I know.  What are we even talking about here?  I’m all over the place, let’s get into it.

Optimum has changed their remote.  They’ve done away with that weird shaped grey one for the sleek black one.They’ve rebranded.  No more light up button in the middle like it’s a toddler toy.  It’s simple, but it’s better in my opinion.  I’m more of a Fios guy, but Optimum was quite literally my only option for cable, so I had no choice but to switch allegiances.  But I’ll tell you what.  The new remote stinks.  It’s too slippery.  I can’t hold it.  It’s skinny but almost too skinny where it doesn’t fit in your hand well.  Maybe I need to give it some wear and tear so that its quality improves similar to a pear of Timberland boots.  When it’s too new it’s weird.  When I pick up this remote, it slips out of my hand and I have to pick it up again.  Did you get that?  I gotta pick up the remote twice.  I have to basically tw0-hand the remote.  Imagine the struggle of not being able to change the channel without fumbling the fucking remote control.  Cable/internet ain’t cheap, man.  Is it too much to ask for a user-friendly product one time?  I deserve better, that’s all I’m saying.  Or maybe I don’t.  If this is the biggest problem in my life then things are going well.  Whatever it’s still annoying.

PS – If you call the remote a clicker you suck.

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