Ice Cream For Breakfast Proven To Make You Smarter

IBT: Most parents would consider it a crime to give a child ice cream for breakfast. But they might rethink allowing their kids to have a scoop of the cold, sweet treat first thing in the morning, if they knew it could make them smarter. Although an early morning sugar rush may be parents and teachers worst fears, a new study recently found eating ice cream first thing in the morning can actually be beneficial for the brain. The study, published by Kyorin University professor Yoshihiko Koga, said eating ice cream right after waking up can result in improved instances of alertness and mental performance.

The study, which was published on Japan’s Excite News website Tuesday, compared participant’s brain activity in people who had been given ice cream immediately after waking up with those who had not eaten ice cream. Koga found that people who had consumed ice cream for breakfast showed better reaction time and were able to process information better than those who did not have the ice cream. Further tests of brain activity also showed that the people who had ice cream first thing in the morning had an increase in high-frequency alpha waves, which are associated with higher levels of alertness and can reduce mental irritation, the report said. …

Koga said in the report that he is also hoping to determine if ice cream is a trigger for positive emotion and higher levels of energy. …

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Big if true.

You can choose to read the entire article or you can trust the excerpt above and the title of this here blog.  Ice cream for breakfast makes you smarter, end of story.  Fuck all that noise about finishing dinner before eating dessert.  We should be eating ice cream before literally everything else.  Well-balanced breakfast?  How about you shut the fuck up and throw some extra sprinkles on top of my ice cream mountain?  Ice cream to start the day.  Ice cream to finish the day.  Ice cream for mothafuckin lunch HOW BOUT DAH?!

What else needs to be said here?  I’ve been right my entire life.  I wanted to be an ice cream man from birth.  Looks like all I wanted to do, actually, was be a humanitarian.  Little did I know that all I really sought was an opportunity to provide a service to others.  It was right in front of me, and I didn’t even know it.  I yearn to help people, and it’s only now becoming clear.

 “Koga said in the report that he is also hoping to determine if ice cream is a trigger for positive emotion and higher levels of energy.”

Uhh yeah, man.  I’ll spare you the time, effort, money, beakers, and petri dishes.  Ice cream triggers positive emotion.  Great day for us all, people.  Congrats to us.


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