The overrated tradition of lighting the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree is on Wednesday. People from all over will cram into a very small area surrounding a pop up ice skating rink to watch newscasters and C-list celebrities press the ON button on the lights. Al Roker will probably be front and center because he’s front and center for anything linked to New York City. Nothing goes down in Manhattan without Al Roker and whatever ridiculous hat he pulled out of his closet that day. Rockefeller Center will be buzzing with Asians and losers of all kinds who choose to stand out in the cold for hours to
see hear a shitty performance and count down from 10 to turn the lights on. I don’t see the hype, but thousands of others do. Maybe I’m missing out; unlikely, but it’s a possibility.
I’m not informed on the selection process when it comes to the tree. I like to think that it’s handled similarly to the NCAA committee selecting the 64+ teams for March Madness. It’s funny to think about the candidates are all sitting on the couch waiting for the call to come in. They’ve probably spent their entire lives growing a tree in hopes that one day it’ll get called to the majors, which ironically is the concrete jungle. And the losers are left sitting on the couch in their living room in their house in the middle of nowhere, and all they have is a giant ugly tree in their yard. But one lucky person gets the nod. One tree owner has the tree. And so it has me thinking…how much does that person get paid for owning the winning tree? There’s gotta be a cash prize right? If it’s my tree, I need a cool 50-large if y’all wanna take my art and let the entire world come ogle it free of charge.
It wouldn’t surprise me if no money was awarded. NYC probably asks them to lend the tree to the city in the spirit of the holiday season, and in return they’ll get a shout out on the broadcast. Shit deal if you ask me. $50,000 or get the fuck off my property. Maybe the next door neighbor’s 14-foot Spruce will suffice this year.