Shaq Signs On With Krispy Kreme, Bringing Krispy Kreme “Back”

For anyone who bought into the rumor that Krispy Kreme was dead, enjoy cleaning that egg off your face.  Not that they ever truly left the game, but now they’re more back than ever before.  I said it not even six months ago.  I literally said “Not that they ever left, but Krispy Kreme is back.” It’s getting redundant at this point, but until KK gets the recognition they deserve, I’ll keep hammering away at these slanderous rumors.  They were bought out and given new life for the affordable price of $1.35 BILLION.  A new partnership is born as is a new identity.  Shaq puts asses in the seats, bottom line.  I don’t want the credit for keeping Krispy Kreme in the news, but I have to admit I should have thought of this first.  Being a loyal customer isn’t enough nowadays to earn notoriety.  Recommending Shaquille O’Neal to align with the donut KING brings in the dough.

How many donuts does Shaq run through on average?  At least a dozen, right?  Proportionally, one donut for me is equivalent to probably a half dozen for Shaq Diesel.  He’s probably a wrecking ball when he sits down to eat anything, let alone sticky delicious messy donuts.  Then again I would think Shaqtus doesn’t even have to bite donuts, he simply inhales them.  His “snack time” is my Thanksgiving Dinner plus a week’s worth of leftovers.  If he can avoid indulging in his own product, there’s a bright future for Krispy Kreme.  Last recognizable food chain to link up with Shaq?  Good Burger.  A few weeks later and Mondo Burger was out of business.  And the rest is history.  I can’t imagine any different narrative playing out here.  BIG day for Krispy Kreme.  BIG day for donuts.

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