I Hate Automatic Sinks

This is what TheEricHammer.com is all about.  We find everyday occurrences that slip under the radar, and we attack them head on.  Nobody else wants to take the time to think hard about these minute details?  That’s where we (I) step in.  This is peak TheEricHammer.com.  I’m not necessarily on the prowl, seeking out new happenings to unravel.  But from time to time something specific will stand out to me, and it is at that moment, unsolicited mind you, that my world stops.  I can’t think of anything other than that one point of focus.  The obsession takes over my being and I start considering why it is the way it is.  I engulf myself in the smallest details associated with it.  And I think it’s because everyone else is quick to dismiss it.  They label it as “everyday” or “common” because everyone else does the same.  ENTER: automatic sinks.

I hate automatic sinks.  Part of me believes that it’s a new hatred.  A much larger part of me, deep within my soul, knows that I’ve always hated them.  All along I’ve despised them, and I was blinded like so many of us are because we’re so exposed to them.  The government or some other large entity has flooded the market (nailed that pun) with automatic sinks.  They’re shoving them down our throats and doing away with the old fashioned manual sink, and I, for one, have had it.  The strange aspect of this is that I consider myself somewhat of a technology buff.  Whenever a new product comes out that makes my life easier, I’m all for it.  If it’s gonna save me time thus allowing me to focus my attention elsewhere, you can count me in.  However, the automatic sink does the exact opposite.  As a first world country we have been led to believe that automatic sinks are, simply put, “the tits”.  In a society obsessed with improving processes and augmenting convenience, we’ve been led astray.

It’s important to note that I love the idea of automatic sinks.  What I hate is the actual functionality of the automatic sink.  They rarely work.  You put your hand underneath, and no water comes out.  You wave your hands around like an asshole trying to trigger the signal, and no water comes out.  If you’re lucky enough to access the water stream, it doesn’t last long; the water stays on for maybe five seconds, and if you move your hands even slightly away from the water, it cuts off.  It happens literally every time.  It’s insanity.  And you’re left with soap on your hands because despite the expectation from automatic faucet manufacturers, it’s scientifically impossible to rinse soap of your hands in the period of time allowed by these broken sinks.  A product of modern innovation that conceptually is designed to make a specific task easier, in fact, does the exact opposite.  The automatic sink is counterproductive.  The automatic sink is counterintuitive.  And nobody seems to take issue with it except for me.  My hope is that at least one person will read this and realize that I am correct.  Better yet, I hope they find the clarity that I found recently; that they realize they’ve always hated automatic sinks because they’re stupid and they don’t work.  Lump em together with the “door close” button in elevators and those “bug” candles and you have the three biggest scam products of all time.

I want to be able to wash my hands under whatever water pressure I want, at whatever water temperature I want, for however long I want.  Is that too much to ask?  I sure don’t think so.  Manual stinks for LIFE.

PS – I internally wrestle with the Paper Towels (manual) vs. Air Dryer (automatic) in bathrooms every single time.  Both have their time and place.


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