The Girl I Saw In A Neck Brace And Carrying A Neck Pillow Is Milking It

This was more or less the girl that I saw today at the subway station.  Totally braced up at the neck like a cheerleader who fell off the top of the pyramid.  I can’t remember the last time I saw someone in a neck brace.  It sort of caught me off guard.  I won’t say it was funny because it’s not, but I’d be lying if I didn’t assess the situation and my main thought was “whoa”.  Just a quick whoa.  Not a haha whoa, just a surprised whoa.  Freaked me out for a second.

She also happened to be carrying one of those neck pillows.  It took half a second for me to realize that this girl is a fraud.  She may have a boo boo on her neck, but she’s milking it for attention.  The sole purpose of a neck pillow is so that when you’re sleeping your neck doesn’t fall over and break and roll on the floor down the aisle to the front of the bus.  A neck brace, in principal, does exactly that job.  In fact, a neck brace does is infinitely more efficient than a neck pillow.  You quite literally cannot move your neck when it’s in a brace.

So the possibility that she would take the neck brace off to then use a neck pillow is null and void.  You can take that and throw it in the trash because fundamentally it makes zero sense.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she put the pillow around the neck brace.  Attention seeking like you read about.  You can’t pull the sheet over my eyes, babe.  Maybe in the morning before work when I’m half asleep and unaware.  Not when I bust out of the office when my endorphins are through the roof and my brain is on high alert.  Quit milking it.  Stop hamming it up for sympathy points.  Take your neck brace and fuck off.

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