If You’re Not Serving Breakfast Sandwiches With Two Eggs On It Then You’re A Certified Asshole

There’s an epidemic sweeping the Mid Atlanic region, focusing on the NJ and Greater NYC area.  Times are tough out there in the business world, but that doesn’t given anybody the right to take advantage of me or you or anyone else.  Let’s jump right in and waste no time.  Breakfast sandwiches aren’t given the same effort and care that they once received.  While it would be nice if more places cooked their own bagels and rolls, that issue is peanuts compared to this downward spiral we’re seemingly stuck in.  More times than I’d like to admit, I’ve recently gotten breakfast sandwiches assembled with one, lone egg.  ONE egg.  I remember the good days where the industry STANDARD was two eggs.  That should be the minimum, two eggs.  Gimme a double egg one time!

Is this country in such poor shape that we can’t afford to add an extra egg to a Bacon Egg and Cheese?  Who is to blame for this current economy state that doesn’t promote double eggs on a breakfast sandwich?  Meanwhile everyone charges an additional $2.50 for egg whites, meaning the sandwich maker is tossing away half the egg.  If that’s not financial irresponsibility I don’t know what is.  Just this past weekend I had a sandwich with one egg.  What a shame too because it was a good sandwich.  But it could have been a great sandwich.  Bagel was great, bacon was perfect, cheese was melted perfectly, but one egg was missing.

No finger needs to be pointed.  I don’t need to name names.  Consider this a Public Service Announcement to anyone with self respect, integrity, and pride who is cooking up breakfast sandwiches every morning.  If you want to compete in a saturated industry, you need to be better than the market average, which sadly has stooped to the level of a solo egg per sandwich.  I am so sick and tired of complacency. Everyone is okay with mediocrity and being average.  Enough is enough.  Eggs are one of the most profitable foods out there; they cost next to nothing and the margins are insane for restaurants. Those are facts.  I speak on behalf of any passionate breakfast sandwich eater when I say that we’d rather pay more for a better sandwich than settle for  one fucking egg on our sandwich and a good deal.  How about bad deal?  How about NO deal?  This ends TODAY!

This rant was kind of all over the place.  Yet I won’t apologize for it because I feel, in my heart of hearts, that we have been wronged.  They’ve tried pulling the sheet over our heads and farting under the blanket so we can’t get out.  But no more.  We will not be duped any longer.  This has to be a group effort, and we need to put our feet down in any establishment that has the gall to serve a breakfast sandwich with one egg and an embarrassing bread:ingredient ratio.

PS – If you are going to only put one egg on my sandwich, the bread better be busting at the seams because there’s so much bacon on the sandwich.


Shouts to Chris for the tip


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