This Is What The Home Run Derby Is All About


The kids in the outfield are the best part of the Home Run Derby BY FAR.  They run around trying to catch fly balls and never come anywhere close.  You will not catch a fly ball, that’s just a fact.  They probably tell you that when you sign up.  What they don’t tell you is that you may, in fact, get your CLOCK CLEANED.  The home runs are cool I suppose.  But this is what puts asses in the seats.  This is what brings viewers back year after year.  There’s something calming about seeing a girl get absolutely trucked in the outfield by the one kid who’s 4 years older and 65 lbs heavier than everybody else.  I can’t explain the feeling, but it just feels right.

Hearing “back back back back back” gets old after a while.  Watching Stanton put baseballs on the moon gets old after a while (not really but kinda).  Watching 9 year olds in pink tshirts get put in a body bag on primetime television NEVER GETS OLD.




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