I have been seeing ads for this Dairy Queen Upside Down Blizzard campaign all over the place. And I gotta tell ya… It’s really really dumb. At face value it obviously looks ridiculous and downright confusing. But as a journalist with integrity and respect for the game, I decided to do my due diligence and educate myself before reacting publicly. Upon extensive research and hours upon hours of studies and experiments, here are my findings:
It’s really really dumb.
Evidently a lot of Dairy Queen locations serve their Blizzards upside down. The point is so they’re thick enough that nothing actually happens to it. And if it does the customers are given a coupon for a free Blizzard on their next visit. I’ve seen some bad marketing ploys in my day. It’s something I pay close attention to as a Rutgers Business School graduate and general fan of marketing and advertising. This takes the cake. This is hands down the worst ad campaign of all time.
So you get a free Blizzard on your next visit, and, I would assume, a new Blizzard at that moment considering the first one is all over your shoes. Fuck that shit. How desperate is Dairy Queen to have to launch a marketing scheme like this? Pathetic. Sad, really. Almost feel bad for DQ. Disgusting and stupid and they probably don’t even know it. My words are probably falling on deaf ears though because I don’t know one person who has ever been to a Dairy Queen. Everyone with even one ounce of self respect knows that DQ is poor people shit.
Imagine meeting a person who wants to go to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard instead of McDonalds for a McFlurry or Wendy’s for a Frosty? I get nightmares just thinking about it. Fuck you Dairy Queen and the mess you just made by dumping someone’s (knock off) milkshakey treat all over the ground. Bunch of assholes.