Happy 4th Of July Weekend. Time To Ally With Iceland. Wait What?

 

Now’s the perfect time to ally with Iceland.  Are we already allies with them?  Regardless, let’s get on the horn and build this alliance because we need these guys on our side.  It’s not a matter of ‘want’ anymore.  It’s a necessity.  These barbarians would be great allies for the sole reason that they wouldn’t be our enemies.  If I’m a soldier on the battlefield and I see this Haka-like war cry in the distance, I’m laying down and waiting to die because it’s already over.  Albeit that’s not saying much considering the remaining list items of non-qualifications to be a soldier.  This is the ultimate intimidation.  Anything Haka related has a direct correlation with murdering the opposition.  By my estimations, the United States is #1 in the world.  Except in ping pong, those Asians have monopolized the ping pong gold medal count.  Iceland has to be 2nd now.  When the whole country shows up for a football match to support the lads, achieves victory against all odds, and celebrates in unison with a rally cry, you tip your cap and hastily align with them.  It’s as simple as that.

If Hillary or Trump want to bury the other, they’ll play this clip in a 30-second ad and say “We will team with Iceland for obvious reasons”.  Foreign affairs like you read about.  Election over.

Have a great weekend kiddos.  Eat some hot dogs, drink some beer, and Go USA.

 

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