People Who Brush Their Teeth At Work Are Pieces Of Trash

Let’s get right to the point.  If you brush your teeth at work in the bathroom, you’re a disgusting person, and I genuinely think less of you.  How trashy do you have to be to do that?  Every day I see people in the bathroom mid-afternoon with toothpaste and toothbrush going to down like they’re in their own suite at the fucking Plaza Hotel.  Gross.  It’s one thing to do so in a private bathroom, but I can’t even really condone that.  Why do you need to brush during the day?  Us normal folk brush our teeth in the morning and at night.  That does the job.

Those little portable floss things are a decent compromise I think, but on your own time and in private.  You’ll still never find me with my mouth open for any reason in the bathroom at work while Larry from Merchandising (not real) is taking a shit and there’s poo poo particles floating around everywhere.  Fuck outta here with that you piece of garbage.  I’d love to climb into the brain of someone who willingly walks into the bathroom at work with full intention to brush their teeth regardless of who else is in there.  What’s wrong with you?  Why are you so disgusting?  You know where they brush their teeth in public?  In trailer parks and in the woods.

I just want to scream at them like “HELLO I JUST TOOK A SHIT AND THAT GUY HAS BEEN IN THAT STALL FOR 11 MINUTES ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH RIGHT NOW?!”  Some people just can’t help themselves.  Some poor souls aren’t rescuable.  But if I can save one person from humiliating themselves or from being a disgusting trash bag, then my work here is done.  They probably shampoo their hair in the sink too.




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