NJ Lawmakers To Settle Pork Roll/Taylor Ham Debate Once And For All. Except I’ve Done It For Them

 

APP:  There is legislation pending to name an official New Jersey state sandwich.

New Jersey is trying to decide on a state sandwich but it needs to answer one very important question first: Is it pork roll or Taylor Ham? Yes, the long-standing debate is now the subject of legislation according to Politico New Jersey. Assemblyman Tim Eustace is trying to introduce a bill that would make the Taylor Ham/pork roll, egg and cheese the official state sandwich. Eustace says the name will be negotiated due to the regional debate on what is the true name of the sandwich.


First of all, fuck the Wall Street Journal for making you pay to read their articles.  Grow up and stop resisting the internet age.  Shout out to APP for doing the public service of providing a free article.

Looks like my services are needed here.  As the resident Breakfast Sandwich Guy at TheEricHammer.com, this is very much my jurisdiction and mine alone.  Thankfully, I’ve taken the load off their shoulders and made the decision for them.  My final ruling has been made, and I predict some people will be upset. But I trust that all persons with a practical mind will realize that what I’m saying makes the most sense for all parties involved.  The Pork Roll vs. Taylor Ham debate is one that has divided New Jerseyans for centuries.  For the majority of people, your hometown decides your allegiance.  Your parents have chosen your home turf, and therein lies your alliance.  Oddly enough, Manalapan kind of lies right on the proverbial Mason Dixon Line.  To the north rests the Taylor Ham backers.  Below us are the Pork Roll supporters.  It puts us Central Jersey folk in a tough spot, being forced to choose our sides and subsequently choose our friends.

Personal bias aside, for objective and argumentative purposes, it’s important to lay the facts out and understand which team I side with.  I’m more of a bacon guy, only electing Pork Roll/Taylor Ham when a craving arises.  That’s not a knock on it at all because it’s absolutely delicious.  Just last weekend I named the Best of the Best I’ve ever had at Frank’s Deli in Asbury.  But when I do feel like straying away from bacon, I have to say one or the other.  I could alternate and go back and forth, but even then one has to be first.  Why not the other one?  It’s tough out here in the streets of Central Jersey.  With that being said, I want to call it Taylor Ham.  I really do, but I just can’t.  Doesn’t roll off the tongue like Pork Roll does.  It’s Pork Roll for me.  Whether or not you put any value on my opinion is up to you.

Jersey residents are more territorial about this than anything else bar none.  People have died for less than this.  If you cross into a new town and say the wrong thing out loud, those are fighting words.  Outsiders beware.  God forbid you try ordering one sandwich when it’s actually called another.  It’s a slippery slope that the Garden State should be proud of in a weird way.  If everyone agreed on one one name, we wouldn’t be living in New Jersey; if everyone agreed on anything at all, we’d be in Montana not NJ.  We pride ourselves on being boisterous and outspoken, and to put our differences aside because of a few lawmakers is preposterous.  This in-state tension in and of itself is exactly the reason it should live on in triumph.  The ability to loathe the opposition of this spirited debate yet respect the competition is the entire point of the controversy in general.  I hereby overstep NJ lawmakers and declare this hearing void on the count of “sometimes things are better left unresolved”.

Some of you are probably thinking I took the easy way out by refraining to pick one side over the other.  Perhaps because I prefer bacon or because I have never had to defend my territory.  You may not think I’m the man for the job, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow the lawmakers to dictate how I live my life.  Just lookin out for y’all, no thanks needed.  Anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows this is the only real choice.  The lawmakers need to understand that people are going to use their own name no matter what.  They’d be silly to put an end to that.  Don’t fix what’s not broken.  In fact, there may be riots in the streets once their ruling was disclosed, and Manalapan sits right in the crosshairs.  Battle of Monmouth II.  No thanks.  It’s one of the few things NJ has to hang our hat on, don’t make this a black and white picture (HORRIBLE analogy if taken out of context with reference to the Mason Dixon Line, but what’s done is done).

PS – I wish I cared about anything as much as people who defend their stance on Taylor Ham vs. Pork Roll.

 

 

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