ICYMI Here’s The Girl Double Fisting Pizza Slices On The Kiss Cam

 

This is everywhere today.  Sometimes I feel the need to get my two cents in because I value my two cents at three cents, if you catch my drift.  Other times I think the dead horse has been beaten, and I can admit when I don’t have anything to bring to the table in terms of originality.  But as a Kiss Cam expert, I have a civic duty to weigh in.  If that’s not clear to everyone, I was on the Kiss Cam and I motherfucking delivered.

It’s important to know how the Kiss Cam works, from someone who has firsthand experience in that department.  There’s pertinent information that few know but all should know.  I knew before it happened that I was gonna be on the Kiss Cam with my lady.  Camera guy asked us the inning before.  I don’t know if they do that for every couple on the screen, but I have to assume they need a few “guarantees”.  Can’t have 5 rejections on the screen, so they need a few reservations in advance.  Makes sense when you think about it.

The point of that prefacing is to make it perfectly clear that this was a complete act.  Phenomenal showmanship, I will say that.  She did not squander the moment one bit.  But it was premeditated, and if you can’t see that you’re a fool.  It actually doesn’t even matter if she knew or not.  She’s still an asshole either way.  If someone tried stealing my moment in the sun on the Kiss Cam, it very well could have turned into the Punch Someone In The Face Cam.

That kiss was high quality.  It was a good old fashioned, open mouthed, lip locking, make out sesh.  I’d give it an A- (mine was a strong A).  But you wouldn’t know because some girl was busy stuffing her disgusting face with disgusting stadium pizza.  If you get stadium pizza, you’re generally a gross person.  Obviously I hate this pizza girl.  She planned the sabotage ahead of time, and she executed well.  And she’ll probably get a week’s worth of internet fame.  But then she’ll disappear into the darkness and fall back to her life of DOUBLE servings of stadium pizza with nobody to make out with on camera.

Meanwhile I’ll forever be a Kiss Cam star.

 

 

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