Went to a new Dunkin spot this morning. I’m sick and tired of the same guy messing up my order on a regular basis. I also don’t love how my usual Dunkin is legitimately inside the subway station. It’s disgusting, but as far as I knew it was the closest to my office while still on my walking route. But turns out there’s another one that’s somewhat on the way, closer to the office, and, the coup de grace, above ground. What else can you ask for?
Got to the register to order and pay today and I see THIS:
For one thing, I refuse to believe this is true. If there actually is some sort of forum where Dunkin Donuts customers can vote on their favorite menu items, nobody’s selecting a fucking Chicken Salad or Tuna Salad Sandwich. Literally zero people. Out of all the choices at Dunkin, that’s last on any self respecting human’s list. The food at DD is not good. The donuts and munchkins are obviously fair game. Nothing else is even halfway decent. There have been times where I’ve had to settle for a bagel or even a breakfast sandwich, begrudgingly. But I never enjoy it. The bagels are mass-produced pieces of cardboard that they’re somehow legally allowed to sell under the “bagel” name. The eggs are microwaveable patties of who knows what. It’s all manufactured, unnatural garbage.
Anything not under the Baked Goods umbrella is off limits. They have breakfast burritos now at Dunkin Donuts. You gotta be some kind of savage to willingly order and eat that. FRIED CHICKEN. How is that allowed? And then you have the chicken salad and the tuna salad sandwiches. From a place that makes donuts and coffee. Vomit. How gross and pathetic do you have to be to order that, let alone enjoy it to the extent that you consider it your favorite? I want to puke all over myself just thinking about you because you’re a pitiful disgusting person.
Bro nobody likes that trash. Far from a “Fan Favorite”. Dunkin’s better off saying “they’re actually okay and won’t get make you terminally ill”. Only thing is they probably can’t say that with honesty. I’m Team Dunkin but y’all gotta clean it up. Stick to what works. Coffee and donuts and occasionally muffins. Nothing else.