I don’t feel the need to explain myself, but I’ll do it anyway. My mom has been complaining that the milk she buys for me has been going bad due to lack of consumption. So I’ve upped my recent cereal intake, which has naturally influenced me to start pitting cereals against each other. I wish it didn’t come down to this because I love almost all cereal. It doesn’t feel right, but here we are.
In thinking about the cereals I’ve enjoyed for years, it was an emotional and nostalgic trip down memory lane. For me, cereal was a before-school breakfast more than any other food. It’s safe to say I’ve eaten probably 10 millions bowls of cereal in my life. I’ve been around the block a few times, up and down the aisle a few more times, if you catch my drift. In order to adequately produce a list of top cereals, it’s only fair to separate the sugary and non-sugary cereals. They are apples and oranges. And as much as I love both apples and oranges, it would be an injustice to compare the two against each other.
As hard as I worked to rank the top 10 non-sugary cereals, there simply aren’t enough quality choices. I’ve narrowed it down to 5, as there are literally no other decent options for “healthy” cereals. And before you go dozing off or wishing for some flavor (pun most certainly intended), that list will come. It will take far more time, effort, and sleepless nights. What these cereals lack in flavor they make up for in comfort and consistency, two intangibles that musn’t be taken for granted. Alas, the top 5 non-sugary cereals.
5. Corn Flakes
Corn Flakes are an instant classic. I’ve never understood the rooster on the box as it appears to have no slight relation to cereal, but I digress. Sometimes you just need a dry cereal to satisfy you, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Corn Flakes have done me well for 2.3 decades.
4. Special K
Can’t confirm this, but I consider these the new and improved Corn Flakes. They’re crunchier and lighter, have a little more bite, and taste better. Special K came into my life only a few short years ago, and by chance I might add. I was left with no other options to fulfill my cereal craving, and Special K made it a Special Day…. (I’ll see myself out)
3. Rice Chex
Here’s the best part of Rice Chex: after your pour the milk in, some of the Chex are completely submerged in the milk, others stay afloat. The best ones are the ones that teeter at milk level due to their porous nature. Bottom half milky, top half crunch, all of it delicious. LOVE Rice Chex.
Is there a more timeless cereal? When people say “day one stuff”, they’re referring to Cheerios. Moms feed babies Cheerios when they’re 5 days old. They are the old reliable and as classic as classic gets. The perfect “good AND good for you” cereal. And for the coup de grâce, “Cheerios may reduce your cholesterol!” No guarantees, but that possibility is out on the table. Genius marketing by General Mills because that word “may” leaves them without any liability. And if someone’s cholesterol goes down and they attribute it to Cheerios, they look like goddamn geniuses.
1. Rice Krispies
Was there really any debate here? Rice Krispies are so good that they can contend with any sugary cereal in the game. They snap, crackle, AND pop. Name another cereal that does that. They’re noisy and delicious. Once in a while you’re treated with a burnt Krispy that’s slightly crunchier than the other. You could never make sense of it, but it just seemed right. Rice Krispies are the GOAT when it comes to non sugary cereals, and if you don’t agree, you’ve eaten very little cereal in you life because you were most likely neglected and unloved as a child.
One more note. Mini wheats are gross. They get too soggy and don’t even taste good.