Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been seeing friends posting pictures of their sushi burritos, or sushirritos as they say in the inner circle. It has driven me more and more crazy each instance. Not even one calendar year ago, I strongly expressed my disdain for the mere idea of the sushi burrito. My opinion hasn’t changed (integrity). Yet it seems like the sushi burrito’s notoriety has gained some steam. I’m not a stranger to questioning a social norm, but I’ve done more head scratching lately than usual. I get it. I know how it works. Everyone wants to try the hot new thing and post it on Instagram so everyone knows what they’re doing in between their Snapchat workouts. But I am standing my ground. Also I refuse to call it a sushiritto
My main argument against the sushi burrito is that a burrito, in essence, is available for convenience. It’s handheld, it’s quick, and it’s easy. Sushi is the polar opposite. You’re relaxed, often sitting in dim lighting. It’s a quiet and quaint environment where the outside world goes on pause. It’s also not easy to eat sushi. Chopsticks are a pain for many; we’ve all been there where the chopsticks failed us and we dropped a piece of yellowtail right into the soy sauce. Classic sushi.
Burritos and sushi are like a dump next to a playground. Sure, one day you get tired of the swings and the slide and you hop the fence to play in the trash. But one day you’ll realize you look and smell like garbage, and you’ll realize you’ve made a grave mistake. I’m two steps ahead. This is a fad that will inevitably die out. I’m not gonna fight the opposition but rather sit back and watch nature take its course and the sushi burrito eradicate its own existence.
PS – This “sushi burger” is straight up PSYCHOTIC.