The Security Guard At My Office And I Are Basically Boys Now


I have been planning my move for weeks if not months.  Every morning I contemplate taking that step of the ledge but quickly pull back in fear because I know I’m only going to have one shot at this.  If I don’t time it just right, if the moment isn’t perfect, it could be catastrophic.  But today I decided to put on my big boy pants and attack the moment.  No more sitting back and waiting, I controlled my own destiny.  I did it.  And it was perfect.  I walked into my building, showed the security guard my ID, extended my hand in the form of a clench fist, and the rest was up to him.  Would he reciprocate?  Would he even notice?  Would he be creeped out?  My heart stopped for a moment, I think I may have even blacked out.  All of a sudden, his eyes looked down at my fist and then up to my eyes.  A quick smile led to a fist bump.  I dapped up the security guard, and it was magical.

So where does that leave us now?  I feel that there is this incredible pressure to follow through with this promise every morning.  But what happens if he’s there on the way out; do I dap him up on the way out?  It’s more of a “Good Morning” greeting, but I suppose I can do that.  What if I go out for coffee in the middle of the day?  I don’t wanna overdo it.  It should mean something.  For all I know, nobody else shares this kind of bond with him (I sure hope not).  He’s probably counting on me now.  I imagine he has been thinking about this as much as I have.  But what if he just did it to be polite?  Gosh I’m so nervous for tomorrow.

With great power comes great responsibility.  I am now boys with the security guard.  I consider us good friends now.  Best friends, perhaps.  I envision birthday celebrations, happy hours, Thanksgiving dinners, etc.  What a great day.

Just gotta find out his name now.

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UPDATE 3/8/17:  We’ve come a long way since almost a year ago.  Dante and I exchange daps almost daily.  We dap each other up (maybe that verbiage works better for you kids).  His name is Dante I think.  I’ve never called him that but hope to one day have that level of mutual closeness.  But this status update is not about his name.  The morning I saw Dante dap up another guy.  Right in front of me, clear as day, he gave a fist bump to some Joe Schmo.  And then he proceeded to dap me up like business as usual.  I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

So the question lies, what to my fist bumps with Dante mean (if anything)?  If he’s got secret handshakes with a lot of people, then the value of mine is diminished to virtually zero.  I will continue to strengthen my bond with Dante, but in the back of my mind I’ll know that he has other strong bonds at the same time.  I think I always knew that he may be boys with other people, but until you see it in person, ignorance is bliss.  I feel like I’m on the Bachelor.


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