Shia LaBeouf’s Girlfriend With No Eyebrows Agrees To Marry Him

Well well well.  There really is someone from everyone.  No matter what you look like, no matter what kind of baggage you have, that special someone is out there for all of us.  And sometimes opposites attract.  Take these two for example.  One is straight up looney toons.  The other has no eyebrows.  That’s love right there.  Congrats to my boy Shia Labeouf and his lovely fiancee Mia Goth on their engagement.  Didn’t even know he was off the market.  Decent chance they met last week, but love is love, man.  They look genuinely happy, too.  Call me crazy but I think this one may last.  You don’t have screws loose like Shia LaBeouf and get married more than once.  Too much hassle.  And if you have no eyebrows I have a funny feeling that the marriage proposals are far from plentiful.

I will be personally offended if I don’t get an invite to the LaBeouf-Goth Nuptials.  That’s the event of the year.  I’ve stuck with him through it all, encouraged him even.  I can’t even imagine what goes down at a Shia LaBeouf party, let alone a wedding.  I doubt they go the traditional route, definitely no prime rib.  They probably don’t even eat.  I’d put my money on all guests sitting in one room watching a screen of Shia and Mia consummate the marriage.  Actually that is 1000% what’s going to happen.  I gotta get to this wedding.

Who am I to judge?  To each his own…




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