Donald Trump Has Resorted To Primitive Tactics, Bribes Reporters With Mini Hot Dogs

 

I cannot confirm the validity of the context of that tweet or my headline.  I needed to throw that out there.  Politics, religion, and race are three things that can really tear people apart, more so than anything else.  That’s a fact.  There are, however, certain things that can unite people from all walks of life, such as drugs, booze, and free shit.  People LOVE free stuff, food especially.  So when tempers start to flare, radical changes need to be made.  Harness that passion for the greater good.  Grab the peoples attention.  Bring people together.  And that’s precisely what The Donald has done.

Uncle Don has adopted a new grassroots marketing approach  by handing out complimentary pigs in a blanket to the media.  Fucking brilliant, I’ll say.  Nothing makes me happier than hors d’oeuvres (I will forever look up the spelling of that freakishly spelled term).  Pizza bagels, mozzarella sticks, little taquitos, and, of course, mini hot dogs.  There’s nothing you can serve on a platter on a little stick/with a toothpick that I won’t eat 30 of.  Media members are no different.  People gotta eat.  And there’s no better way to win somebody over than pigs in a blanket.

Sometimes you just have to go back to the basics, to the primitive, fundamental tactics that our country was built upon.  A small bribe in the form of a small hot dog can go a long way.

 

 

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