Newsday: Here’s something the Mets have learned about Yoenis Cespedes: He has a few endearing quirks. For example, he likes waffles, but not square ones. They’ve gotta be round. We’re not sure why. Maybe, he thinks they’re bad luck. But it’s enough of a sticking point that on Wednesday morning, Cespedes wondered if a Mets staffer might be willing to make a quick run to the store for a round waffle maker. One of the reasons that Cespedes is so well-liked by the Mets is that despite his stardom, he comes off as a down-to-earth guy. Consider Wednesday’s waffle maker search, when Cespedes insisted that the staffer take his black Lamborghini Aventador — the one customized to have flames shoot out of the tailpipe. …
Waffles! Round waffles! And to think I thought I loved Cespedes before. Man oh man does this guy do it all. Yesterday he showed up in this whip. He’s letting Wilmer Flores drive around in this car. He begged the Mets to take him back. He told the Nationals to get lost. And somehow, some way, the Mets answered the call. Now he’s debunking myths, spreading good luck, and ultimately putting the Mets in the best position to win. Show up in style, eat round waffles, play golf, hit home runs. Basic formula.
Only Yo can send some intern on an errand in his Lambo to fucking TARGET to pick up a waffle maker that only makes round waffles because the Mets only have a square waffle maker and square waffles are bad luck. And fuck the Mets for only having a square waffle maker. What kinda bullshit is that? I feel like after years and years of perennial losing, you would think they’d look for little things to make changes to in attempts to flip the script and change their luck. New managers and new players are all well and good, but desperate times call for desperate measures. ROUND WAFFLES.
I am hereby forgoing square waffles for the foreseeable future. And mark my words if the Mets win the World Series this year I may never even look at a square waffle ever again.