You know what really grinds my gears? When I’m balls deep in a bag of pistachio nuts, fingers covered in salty dust, and I come across a shell I cannot crack. There are some devilish twists that life throws at us, stubborn pistachio nuts ranking amongst the top. It is so goddamn infuriating trying and failing to open a fucking pistachio nut. I sit there trying to wedge my fingernails under one shell and get some leverage to break it open. No such luck. I resort to primal tactics and use my teeth. Nothing. At this point I realize I’ve wasted so much time that it would be insane to quit now. But there is no breaching of that shell. Fuckin Fort Knox. So I either throw it back in the bag and run into the same problem later, or I have to throw it out. I can’t believe we still have this problem in 2016. If we can have gluten free/dairy free/fat free/sugar free everything, we should be able to guarantee access to every single pistachio nut out there. I cannot IMAGINE how much total time I’ve wasted swinging and missing at pistachio nut shells. It’s gotta be days.