This Is Why I Don’t Fight MMA

This is why I don’t fight MMA amongst 37 other reasons*.


WARNING: really really disgusting….









Last chance to get out because this can never be unseen…









Is that not the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen?  Excuse me, sir.  I’m no doctor but that looks pretty bad.  I think you need a new eye/face.  Looks like a goddamn 8 ball was stuffed behind his eyebrow.  Gross.  Makes me wanna puke every time yet I can’t look away.

Seeing this happen live was humbling.  It was instant reassurance that I made the right choice to crunch numbers on Microsoft excel all day versus stepping in the octagon and getting my eye ripped out.  You would think this type of thing happens from time to time in MMA fighting, boxing, or any heavy contact sport.  Nope.  Even Joe Rogan said it was one of the worst eyes he’s ever seen.

There’s a 0% chance he regains full vision/function of that eye, right?  That’s a tough one to explain to people, too.  “Yeah I got poked in the eye in a fight, continued fighting, had it gouged out again, kept fighting, then got punched in the eye, TKO’d, embarrassed on national TV, and made into an Internet joke within minutes.  And now my eye looks like a moldy lemon.  What’s up with you?”

Fuck that.  Give me the boring office job any day of the week.  Aside from the occasional encounter with a crazy bum in the subway station, the level of peril in terms of physical safety is minimal at best.  Cushy desk job over broken eyeball, thanks.




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