How About This Kid Eating The Outside Of A Watermelon And Setting Society Back Millions Of Years?


I know very little about cricket other than A) the matches last for days and B) watermelon is not a popular snack choice.  Breaking out watermelon in public is already a questionable move; it’s messy and belongs in someone’s backyard at a BBQ and no place else.  Bringing a WHOLE watermelon somewhere is borderline insane.  Straight up paychopathic shit.  But it is absolutely barbaric and deplorable to eat a watermelon like this, skin and all.  Animalistic.  This kid belongs in the forest with eating etiquette like this.

Where are his parents?  It’s one thing to let your kids dance around and be silly in a public setting.  It’s another thing when he is besmirching the family name and destroying any progress society has made up to this point.  Did the cavemen discover fire so fuckboy over here can gallivant around eating the outside of a goddamn watermelon?  I don’t think so.  Is ISIS behind this?  I’m not ruling it out.  Can’t turn a blind eye to erratic behavior like this.  He’s a certified lunatic.

For the record I absolutely love watermelon.  I eat it by the pound and don’t know any other way.  I also want to add that it makes no sense for anyone to buy watermelon with the black seeds in it when seedless is almost always an option.  Well worth the upcharge to avoid spitting out seeds every bite.  Ever seen Rugrats?  I don’t want watermelons growing inside me.  Not gonna risk it.


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