Thanksgiving is right up there with the best of em, Christmas, 4th of July, Flag Day, National Donut Day, etc. They’re all great and could be ranked anywhere you want, I’m not about to argue which holiday is the creme de la creme. The only holiday that’s undoubtedly better is the holiday that I created in 7th grade which is the day after the Super Bowl. It’s insane that that’s still not a national holiday. But I digress. The fact that Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday makes it even better than the day itself. Thursday-Sunday becomes a spectacle event weekend. It’s a 4 day weekend filled with the 3 F’s: football, food, and booze.
I’d be happy to rank the dishes on the dinner table, but it all ends up in the same place anyway. Sometimes I like to go open face with a roll on the bottom, coat it with sweet potatoes, pile up the turkey, stuffing, string beans, etc. and soak it all in gravy. But hey, that’s just me. No rules at the Thanksgiving dinner table. We’re doing two birds this year; the Hammer’s are frying one and baking one. It’s gonna be a turkey palooza. If that’s not enough we may have to throw Uncle Joel in the fryer and cook him up too. I don’t want to but I will if it comes down to it. Nobody’s safe.
As critical as the meal is, as important as it is to bet on the Lions even though you already know they’re gonna lose by a thousand, as imperative as the post-meal nap is, above all else it really is a great chance to put everything aside and spend time with la familia. We can joke all we want about our parents and psychotic aunts and uncles (I’ll put mine up against anyone), but there are way too many people who don’t have a family or money for food or a roof over their heads to experience what should be a terrific holiday for everyone. We always go around the table saying what we’re thankful for, and the first thing I always say is that we’re fortunate enough to even be doing it because that’s the absolute truth. But on a lighter note, here are some other things close to my heart, that many of us often take for granted, that I’m eternally grateful and thankful for:
Bagels. If not for NJ bagels I would not be here. They have saved my life on so many Saturday/Sunday mornings I can’t even begin to count. They’re all different in shape, size, and color, but they’re there for me. What’s better than that?
The Mets pitching staff. This collective group is one of the few things that puts a spring in my step on a daily basis. Thanks, guys.
Half-off appetizers at Applebee’s. Old reliable. Never change. Shouts to sample platters of all kinds too. Pretty sure Bees put it on the map, but it’s widely adopted since. Sometimes you
Alcohol. We’re all thankful for booze.
Power windows. How annoying would it be to have to roll the windows up and down every single time?
DVR. Some people still don’t have DVR/Tivo. Can you imagine being such a pathetic person? Always have Boy Meets World and Curb Your Enthusiasm on deck. My DVR game is too strong.
Two-ply toilet paper.
The people who answer those Yahoo questions. They are the unsung heroes that don’t get the praise they deserve. You’re all saints.
EZ Pass. It’s always a good laugh going 80 mph past a mile-long line of everyone waiting to pay the toll.
Toaster ovens. Innovative combination of two integral appliances in every kitchen. We gave up our toaster oven for a regular toaster a few months ago, and I almost moved out right then and there. I may get mom and dad their own toaster ovens for the holidays.
Ralph Lauren. For taking me out of the streets and putting clothes on my back.
The Evernote App. It’s a more sophisticated substitute to the ordinary Notebook app. Do you know how many ideas my brains pumps out a day? I need to write these things down. Larry David does the same thing. My brain is so big but doesn’t have the capacity to remember all the brilliance it exerts. How about that? So thankful.
Right on red. Nobody has time to wait at stop lights.
Food Network and HGTV.
Chic Fil A’s lemonade. Best in the country.
Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at TheEricHammer.com to you and your family.
PS – Local’s has gotta be kidding me with this ridiculous poster for TGE…