Hot Dog Officially Ruled Not A Sandwich And Would You Look At That I Was Right All Along

USA Today:  Yes, the classic American meal-on-the-go is wrapped in bread, smeared with condiments and eaten as a patriotic alternative to, say, a hamburger. But a hot dog is not a sandwich, according to an official press release from the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. …

“Limiting the hot dog’s significance by saying it’s ‘just a sandwich’ is like calling the Dalai Lama ‘just a guy.’ Perhaps at one time its importance could be limited by forcing it into a larger sandwich category (no disrespect to Reubens and others), but that time has passed,” NHDSC president and ‘Queen of Wien’ Janet Riley says in the release. …

The NHDSC says it came to its decision after noting the hot dog’s impact on American history as well as the “open” nature of a hot dog in a bun, a USDA-governed nuance.

This will be my final word on this matter, my swan song, if you will.  I did not come here to gloat.  I did not come here to gain rightful credit for knowing the answer to this “question” since the beginning of time.  This is not so much about me being right but rather how wrong the opposition was/is.  When you walk around pontificating such garbage, your actions and opinions ought to be held accountable once in a while.  It just so happens in this particular case that I knew it all from the jump.  All of your empty rhetoric has fallen flat on its face.  This really shouldn’t be about me, but everyone who doubted me and this specific opinion has made it about me now.  Right versus wrong.  Not a sandwich versus sandwich.  Me versus you.

To be fair, all of the supporting details aren’t exactly what I would have used to back up my ruling, but what’s done is done.  Alluding to the possibility of previous sandwich status is rather contradictory and hypocritical.  And while I’m on the subject, I would have preferred that they hadn’t labeled a hot dog as “formerly known as a sandwich”; sort of has that one step forward, two steps back undertone.  I’ll go as far to say that the article was written poorly and without an ounce of panache, the polar opposite of what we’re consistently about here at  But I digress because I’ve never been a stickler for minor details.  The Queen of Wien has delivered final judgement, and her word is the only word.  She is to the hot dog and sausage community what the Queen is to England.  There is no higher power.  After you earn Queen of Wien status, that’s it; your term is over when you die.

I am absolutely exhausted from defending my position for all these years.  Every single day there’s some idiot challenging this fact, and I have belabored the hell out of this thing.  It bothers me that we needed some higher power to make the official ruling when I’ve been saying it since birth.  In my humble opinion, I’m just as credentialled to be the spokesman.  But if I have to take a backseat to the Hot Dog Goddess and the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council for the betterment of society’s future, so be it.  I hope we can put this to bed now, once and for all.  We needn’t ever speak of this again.  Case closed.  Period, stop, end of story.

PS- Now we just need the committee to render ketchup on a dog illegal and banishment worthy.  Mustard or don’t.



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