Matt Ryan Says A Hot Dog Is Not A Sandwich And In The Process Proves He Has A Fully Functioning Brain

How many times have I had to break down what does and does not qualify as a sandwich?  Just 3 months ago I had a waitress try to tell me that a corndog was a sandwich.  It feels like once a month some asshole opens their dumb mouth proclaiming hot dogs to be sandwiches, and now I honestly think they’re doing it on purpose to get under my skin.  Mission accomplished.  I don’t know the context, but some Falcons reporter was talking with Matt Ryan about hot dogs, a typical day at the office down in Hotlanta.  Ian Rappaport got involved, fans start defending this idiot reporter, and now here we are.  Two things:

The idea that anyone with a human brain can have an actual brain-derived thought that the classic hot dog is a sandwich is incredible.  For one thing, it’s possibly the dumbest thing ever said.  But this is concerning that the human brain can have such obvious flaws.  Did I just solve a gigantic worldwide problem?  I may have.  There are faulty brains out there, everyone be on high alert.  Thank the big man upstairs that my brain is big enough to identify a problem before it gets too bad.  I guess the people at the brain store were just handing out brains for free the day this reporter and my waitress were born.

The other thing is that I now have to jump on the Matt Ryan bandwagon.  All season I’ve said the Falcons are pretenders (they are), and that Matt Ryan will come back down to earth and choke (he will).  But now I’ll go to war for him.  In a league where there are guys regularly making some real bonehead decisions, it’s nice to see that there are intelligent players out there on Sundays too.  I’m betting one million dollars on the Falcons Sunday.

 

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