Just Thought Everyone Should Know That I Invented The New Dominos Built-In Oven Car

Engadget: The food giant (Dominos) has unveiled the DXP (Delivery ExPert), a heavily modified Chevy Spark that’s focused on pie transport. The star attraction is an outward-facing oven in the back — drivers can grab your piping-hot pizza without skipping a beat. There’s also storage space for a whopping 80 pizzas (office party, anyone?), an out-for-delivery light and a puddle light to prevent any rude surprises when stepping outside.

Roush is helping Domino’s build 100 DXPs that will reach 25 US cities within the next 90 days, including Boston, Dallas, New Orleans, San Diego and Seattle. And it may well make financial sense for Domino’s, even if it seems expensive at first glance. The oven and storage should help drivers deliver more pizzas per trip, and make sure that you’re happy when your food arrives.

I normally wouldn’t even go into a story like this, but when one of my own ideas was taken and used for someone else’s benefit, without my permission, I have to speak up.  This was my idea.  This is my idea.  Tracing back to my junior year of high school, I was apart of DECA which is basically one of those business clubs that sent you on a field trip to make it worth the price of admission.  But I was a natural, so much so that I made it to states.  It was a 3-day trip, hotel, the whole nine yards.  Basically you’re given situational problems to solve from a business standpoint, and I had to assume the role of a pizza chain owner and help cut costs and boost revenue.  And it was on that day that the built-in oven pizza car was born.

Listen, I get it.  My brain cranks out so much golden content on a daily basis that it’s hard to keep tabs on all of these ideas.  I’ve been telling Wendy’s to get sweet potato fries for years and all of a sudden that’s happening too.  To be brutally honest I’m surprised it’s taken this long for one of my original ideas to take off.  This was so obviously the future of the pizza delivery business.  Oven in the cars to keep pizzas warm, thus enabling the carrying of more pizzas, thus speeding up delivery time, thus saving time and money and making more customers happy.  It’s not rocket science.  It’s about time we stop living in the goddamn Gestation period with those stupid fire blanket bag boxes the delivery guys use to keep pizzas warm.  This is theft or plagiarism or something.  Does this country not value intellectual property anymore?  I can’t take credit for the puddle light though.  That’s brilliant.

Let the record show that I would take Pizza Hut over Dominos any day of the week.  Nobody else seems to agree so I don’t put up a fight when ordering because I’m a man of the people.  Plus that Dominos stuffed cheesy bread is out of this world.  But now Dominos is basically dead to me.  I should be compensated with some sort of royalty deal.  Or free cheesy bread on my next 400 deliveries.  Ball is in your court Dominos, do the right thing.




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