Bruhhhhh. Never has a “bruhhhhh” been more appropraite. Look at that fucking thing. Must be easy to salsa dance when you have a third leg Jesus Christ man. Put it away, Victor, there are children there for crying out loud. This is the last time kids will ever be allowed on the field at Citi Field. Imagine sending your son on a trip to run the bases and then find out he was supervised by that big swinging dick all afternoon. I haven’t seen anything like that since the Rutgers Mud Run Monster Dick Saga. Stick this big bat in the heart of the Mets lineup tonight. Maybe that’s why he’s at Citi Field; too hurt to play football, Mets can’t hit, so he’s getting his reps in with that kickstand he’s got between his legs. Makes sense to me. It’s Big Dick City right now with the Mets. Juan Uribe in the clubhouse with his Coke Can dick. Victor Cruz visiting on off days. I don’t know what’s going on but the Mets and big dicks go hand in hand right now, and I couldn’t be happier. Right in time for the playoffs. Nobody wants to hit October baseball flaccid.
Victor Cruz does the salsa. Victor Cruz is hung like a moose. Can’t say one without the other ever again.