We Need To Talk About Donald Trump’s Signature

I fully understand that a signature ought to be unique.  In fact, I think if you can clearly read someone’s signature, then it’s just script writing and not an actual signature.  That being said, you should be able to struggle reading someone’s signature but still be able to tell who’s it is.  Like “okay okay I guess that says their name”.  When you see a signature, the thought process for me usually goes as follows:

  1. That’s a crazy signature.
  2. That looks nothing like their name, but at the same time I can still sort of read their name.
  3. Now that I think of it, that’s a badass signature.
  4. My signature SUCKS.

If you don’t understand that second point, then your brain might be broken because that’s how reading a signature goes.  It’s supposed to make no sense but also make a ton of sense.  But The Donald’s signature is outside of the realms of logic.  I have no idea what that is.  That’s not even CLOSE to ‘Donald Trump’.  Apart from that initial capital D, not one other letter is accurate.  Pretty sure that’s a -gh at the end.  And there are at least 4 U’s in there.  It looks like Duulbunugh.  That’s what it says.  Duulbunugh.  “Deport the Mexicans and Make America Great Again, signed Duulbunugh.”

Have you ever thought about whether or not celebrities slack on their signatures for people they don’t like?  Like if a fan is heckling a ball player to know end, I can absolutely see an annoyed athlete taking their ball and writing Fuck You in messy cursive on the ball.  After all, it’s a signature.  Maybe Donald has been asked for his John Hancock so many times that he’s decided to focus more on becoming president than fully committing to writing his fucking name down.  Do you think maybe Donald is playing everybody?  Some sort of narcissistic, sociopathic “my autograph is too valuable so I’m gonna just scribble the letter U eighteen times so nobody can really prove it’s mine” thought process.  My brain is goo just thinking about it.

Need a better signature than that.  Anyone can scribble half a page and label it a signature.  I don’t think he has any chance in the election with that thing.

 

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