All Of These People Excited For Fall Are Certifiably Insane

I’ve been hearing a lot of people say they’re ready for summer to be over and for the fall to get here.  Umm what planet are we on?  In what world is fall better than summer?  Listen, I enjoy the fall and all that comes with it as much as the next person, but let’s come back down to earth here for a minute.  The thought of NFL Sundays for like 5 months straight makes me go six to midnight in a hot second.  But what else does the fall offer?  Pumpkin spiced everything?  The majestic fall foliage and colorful leaves?  No thanks.

The bottom line is that vibes reach their pinnacle when the weather is at its nicest.  What kind of rational human would choose fall weather over summer weather?  Waking up to warm weather and sunshine every single morning is not something I’m looking forward to losing.  It’s light out all day.  Who doesn’t want that?  You can eat outside at restaurants, you can go to the beach, you can do a million fun things that aren’t always options in the fall.  Sure, the weather in September and early October is nice, but the temperature drops and people get grumpy.  Those are facts.

And after the fall comes WINTER.  How is that something to look forward to?  It’s fucking freezing outside, nobody wants to do anything, nobody likes anyone, everyone’s miserable and grumpy all the time, I eat until I can’t move, the snow makes everything messy, etc etc etc.  I gotta get out of this godforsaken region and get somewhere that offers warm weather 24/7/365.

Playing devil’s advocate on my own argument (because that’s how complex my brain is), I can understand why people are growing a little tired of the summer.  For the people who have a shore house and drink 3-4 days a week, that can take a toll on your body.  I need like a full day to recover after one night of drinking nowadays, it’s sad times.  And the summer is expensive too.  More things to do equals more money, so I can absolutely understand people looking forward to “taking a break” so to speak from the excitement and constant activity of summer.

With all that being said, if you genuinely prefer fall to summer, you should be institutionalized.  Get out of my face with that fall garbage.  Ooh yay flannels and football!  Let’s relax.  These are the same people who “can’t wait for summer” once the second snow storm comes.  Damn hypocrites.

 

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