The Illuminati Says Funk Master Flex Needs To Be Sacrificed

Well it was nice knowing you, Funk.  Once the Illuminati puts your name out there, you’re as good as dead.  It’s like when the Joker called out his next victims, except for him being fictitious and all.  Earlier this year Funk Master Flex went on a rant about Jay-Z with a great amount of disrespect.  And for any of you who have never left the house Hov pretty much runs the Illuminati.  He runs everything that you and I know, top to bottom, soup to nuts.  Been to Wendy’s recently?  Hov cooked your burger.  That parking ticket you got?  Written by Hov.  That OTPHJ you got at the bar last weekend?  That’s right, Jay-Z signed off on that.  So when you come at the King, you best not miss.

I don’t know if this means Funk is/was in the Illuminati and now is on the verge of being removed or possibly it’s just a threat being put out to a person foolish enough to challenge the authority of the most powerful organization on earth.  Side note: the only way out now for Funk Flex is in a box (think about it).  I have my own issues with Funk, trust me.  For example, him interrupting every song to yell out names and words that have no relevance.  Or him replaying the intro of a song 8 times in a row.  Or him never letting a full song play out.  But we also collectively love him and don’t even know it.  Funk Master Flex, Funk, Funk, Funk Master, Funk Master, Funk, Funk Master Flex, Funk, Funk Master Flex.  Nobody can replicate that genius audio clip.  Or the explosions sound they play during every song.

That being said, I’ve been looking for a way to get in the Illuminati for years; lifetime member, internship, whatever.  Siding with the enemy is a bad recipe.  So if they want Funk gone, gone he must go.  I’ll take him out in exchange for a brief face-to-face.  The Illuminati would disband before issuing an empty threat.

PS – A few years ago I watched a video about the Illuminati taking out Eminem, so when that happens we all know to start taking them a little more seriously.


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