Bartolo Colon Has A Baseball Academy And Makes Kids Wear Bartolo Shirts/Hats

Goodbye my friends, I’m on the first flight out to DR.  It’s gonna be me and the beach and the Bartolo Colon Baseball Academy until the day I die.  What a life it will be.  This doesn’t surprise me one bit.  Baseball fans in America love Colon, he’s probably a GOD to the peons in the Dominican Republic.  Mets fans worship Bartolo and he hasn’t even been very good this year, outside of the first month or so.  I’ll be the first to say I’m getting tired of watching him implode on the mound.  But every team wishes they had a Big Sexy on their team, let alone the Big Sexy.  Every team, whether in sports or not, needs a fat guy.  No group is complete without a fat guy.  They’re the glue that keeps everything in place.

Making the kids wear BC40 shirts and hats is standard procedure for something like this I’m pretty sure.  When you leave your home to be a star elsewhere, you are a king when you return.  The people worship the ground you walk on.  The only logical action to take is to force your fans to wear stuff with your name on it.  But I still gotta tip my cap to Bartolo for a savvy business move like this.  He takes his image just as serious as he takes his silly, innocent personality and also his snacks.  Warmups are probably super intense, real high-level stuff…

 

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