Alexi Lalas Is A Monster Who Never Mixes Slushee Flavors

alexi

I’ve been able to deal with Alexi Lalas as an analyst despite the widespread hatred of him.  We both have a common love for the United States and U.S. Soccer, and it has outweighed the things he says on a daily basis.  We also both graduated from Rutgers in 2014, so we have that bond.  Alma mater and soccer aside, this is a huge negative for him.  I can’t defend a human being like this.  This is the type of stuff that makes you lose trust in someone.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets a shittier gift for Christmas than in years past, if he gets a gift at all.

There’s no other way to say it except that you have to be a psychopath to only get cherry flavored slushee.  I have a huge issue with getting one flavor.  But I can get past that if the right flavor was chosen (aka Coke or Blue).  Cherry?  By itself?  That’s full on lunacy.  I’d entertain the thought of ranking cherry last to be quite honest.  The only time you get cherry is when you mix it, preferably with Coke.  Not only does he think it’s okay, but Alexi Lalas legitimately thinks that’s the RIGHT way to slushee.  Mixing flavors is mandatory as far as I’m concerned.  And how about the cajones he’s got to call this other guy an animal?  Not even for saying he likes to mix flavors, but for just ASKING.  Jesus Christ talk about being defensive.  Relax, guy.

I would like to know why he is the way he is.  Do I blame the parents?  Someone needs to be held accountable.  Maybe he just doesn’t know any better.  Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.  As a grown man, you have to know the difference between right and wrong.  A one flavored slushee is WRONG.  Favorite flavor slushee being CHERRY is WRONG.  What a monster.

 

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