NY Mag: New Jersey governor Chris Christie is a big football fan, but he is also apparently a big fan of snacks at football stadiums. According to New Jersey Watchdog, Christie reportedly spent over $82,000 of taxpayer money on concessions at MetLife Stadium. Christie paid for food and drinks at MetLife with a debit card 58 times over the 2010 and 2011 NFL seasons, accruing a bill of $82,594. That means he spent an average of nearly $1,500 on food and drinks every time he attended a football game. The money came from Christie’s state allowance, a $95,000 sum he’s given on a quarterly basis to be “used for official receptions on behalf of the state, the operation of an official residence, for other expenses.”
I don’t see how anyone can be surprised by this. Smart people invent things. Funny people tell jokes. Fat people eat a lot of snacks. That’s what being fat is all about. To be honest, I’m pretty happy this news came out. Nothing is worse than when a fat guy gets skinny. It doesn’t matter if it’s genetics or because you’re parents neglected to hide the snacks as a child, but you’re fat. You need to embrace being fat. Fat people are awesome, I love fat people. And I love Chris Christie, mostly because he’s fat. Fat people play football, and the ones that don’t watch football and eat a lot of snacks at the games. That’s how it’s always been, and that’s how it’s going to be.
I will say that it’s not the best that he’s using taxpayer money to fulfill his sweet tooth. To be honest, he should just get free snacks wherever he goes. Hot girls don’t pay for alcohol in Las Vegas, so why should Chris Christie have to pay for popcorn at Cowboys games? I thought this was America. These numbers are solely based off of the 2010 and 2011 seasons. I can’t imagine what kind of numbers he’s amassed over the last 3 years. I don’t even think $1,500 is that much for a guy like Christie. You KNOW he’s gonna be stuffing his face from start to finish. Let’s say he’s at a game for 4 hours, that’s $375 an hour. Beer alone costs at least $10 at these games nowadays, he’s in a box with a dozen people, everyone’s screaming and drinking and eating and rubbing Christie’s belly when the Cowboys score.
I picture Christie and Jerry Jones throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths which makes me laugh uncontrollably.