Monster Shark Spotted In New Jersey, So Of Course People Are Freaking Out

NJ: OCEARCH now lets you track any apex predator it has tagged around the world, one of which just swam into Jersey waters and oddly enough warned the Garden State on Twitter. The shark, a 3,500-pound great white, was recorded about 10 miles off the Wildwood coast Thursday morning, according to the nonprofit that researchers sharks. Since Thursday morning, seven pings from the shark were recorded off the coast of South Jersey.


I’ll just cut to the chase.  Anyone who is afraid to swim in the ocean because of sharks has a huge dump in their pants.  People are going bananas on Twitter about this shark.  And they all look so dumb in doing so.  There is no chance this shark kills anyone in New Jersey.  I know 10 miles is very small in comparison to how far out sharks usually are from the shore around here, but they have a longggg way to go before anyone will actually encounter any sort of peril.

It’s crazy to think that there are real, living, breathing humans who, now, won’t go in the ocean out of fear of crossing paths with this shark.  It’s absolutely mind blowing.  What’s even crazier is that some people won’t go in the ocean EVER because of sharks; there doesn’t need to be a news alert about a great white being spotted 10 miles offshore.  They’re always on high alert for a shark.  We live in New Jersey.  There are no sharks here.  Nobody ANYWHERE should let their fear of sharks prevent them from going in the ocean.  The only place that would make even a little bit of sense would be Hawaii, but everyone there is way too chill to care.

I love going in the ocean.  I’m not gonna let a shark “in the area” stop me from enjoying a nice swim.  Where else am I supposed to go to the bathroom on the beach?  The worst thing that happens to me in the ocean is a failed body surf leading to a sandy ass crack.  Jellyfish are way more of a concern than sharks in my opinion.  And stepping on shells, that’s the worst.

Grow up.

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