I Found Her! I Found The Dumbest Person In The World!


The search is over!  We’ve found her!  Monday, April 20, 2015 at approximately 11:30 AM EST, mark it down in the history books.  The dumbest person in the world has come forward, with an excellent display of oblivion nonetheless.  Waking up to this thunderstorm left me pretty disappointed, who knew that we would witness history today?!  What a time to be alive!

Here’s the situation.  This lady Peggy was fortunate enough to get her name called, come on down, win her bid, and play the famous Cliffhangers game, a dream for any avid Price Is Right fan.  You have to guess the price of 3 items and collectively be within $25 combined of the actual prices.  She was dumb enough to put herself in a shitty position, allotting only $12 to play with on the last two items.  Item #2 is an electronic soap dispenser.  The audience screams for $40, $44, something in that range.  Peggy bids $4.  FOUR DOLLARS.  Drew Carey asked her like three times if she’s sure she meant $4.  She was more confident with each assurance.

As the yodeler yodels up the mountain and unsurprisingly off the cliff, Drew laughs and says “I don’t think they even sell $4 bars of soap”.  He calls it like it is.  He’ll never be Bob Barker, but Drew Carey does not sugarcoat anything for anyone.  If your bid sucks, he’ll laugh in your face and not lose a minute of sleep over it.  His candidness has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.  But Peggy needs to put back in her gated community.  Send out the Silver Alert!  There’s no way this woman is fit to operate in society.  How she made it to the studio and on stage is a miracle with no explanation.

There is no game show with a dumber audience.  The contestants on this show are so so dumb it hurts to watch.  I thought I’ve seen it all.  People bidding $7,000 on iPhones, girls saying they study “education in college”, models giving away free cars, the list continues to grow.  This undeniably ranks atop the leaderboard.  $4 for an electronic soap dispenser.  Fuck outta here with that.  I yelled at my TV; loudly – the cleaning lady was startled.  This is the shit that gets me riled up.




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