Worst murderer ever. Short after Hernandez was convicted of murder 1 and sentenced to life in prison without parole, the Twitter community took a liking to his old tweets. A ton of his tweets from years ago were being retweeted because, you know, he’s never getting out of jail. In short, his tweets that were innocent when first created are now hilarious. And it takes a messed up person to dig into someone’s past and hold them accountable for it today. Specifically, to search through his tweets is just wrong. So without further ado, here are his best 10 tweets (succeeded by brief analyses cheesy jail-related puns):
Picture this and tell me I’m wrong. Offseason Patriots OTA’s, offensive team meeting, everyone going around the room sharing one joke each. Naturally, Gronk is stealing the show, making “69ing” jokes, the offensive line pissing their pants, causing Hernandez to grow nervous because he’s up next and he doesn’t know any jokes. So he takes his concerns to Twitter to outsource his participation.
I would have thought he just listened to some hood shit during workouts and before games, but I guess when you’re busy *plotting murders you don’t have time to listen to music. (*It’s cool to say this now because the jury convicted him for precisely this.)
Those three exclamation points don’t seem too appropriate anymore do they?!
Mission completed. M.O.E. M.O.B. C.R.E.A.M. If you don’t understand that lingo, I can’t help ya.
His most recent tweet. That’s probably how he would have wanted to go.
Lolz you crazy kids! Murdering and shit!
“Don’t wait to kill Odin Lloyd until he threatens you, just kill him now because it’s fun”.
Kill! He said kill! He’s def guilty!
Brilliant execution of the classic “foreshadow approach”.
Get it?! It’s funny because he’s going to be in a cage forever and ever.