USA Today: A man who leaned over a plate of sizzling fajitas to pray can’t sue a Westampton restaurant because the dish burned him, an appellate court ruled Wednesday. But an appellate panel said Applebee’s can’t be held responsible because the hot food posed an “open and obvious” danger. According to the ruling, Jimenez ordered fajitas that were placed in front of him in a “sizzling skillet.” When he bowed his head “close to the table,” the ruling says, Jimenez heard “a loud sizzling noise, followed by ‘a pop noise’ and then felt a burning sensation in his left eye and on his face. His lawsuit said a waitress did not warn Jimenez that the dish was hot. It argued Jimenez suffered “serious and permanent” injuries “solely as a result of (Applebee’s) negligence when he came in contact with a dangerous and hazardous condition, specifically, ‘a plate of hot food’.”
In one of the biggest cases since good ol’ Brown v. Board of Education, we focus our attention to the 2010 event in Westampton, NJ. It’s an open and shut case though, the type of case where a jury would meet in a room for ten minutes mocking how ridiculous this is, and then come back out to the courtroom to laugh in this guy’s face for being an asshole. It’s not a very compelling argument considering fajitas are always served piping hot. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. Part of the fun of ordering fajitas is so that when it comes out of the kitchen, everyone hears the sizzling, everyone smells it, and everyone gets jealous that you’re about to be balls deep in delicious fajitas.
They don’t have to tell you it’s hot because when it’s literally sizzling and smoking right in front of you, that’s evidence enough to proceed with caution, dumb fuck. Half the battle with ordering fajitas is not burning yourself on the skillet that was taken off the surface of the sun (the other half of the battle is fighting off eavesdropping customers who suddenly became jealous when they saw how awesome your fajitas look because you have them and they don’t). Fajitas were hot in 2010 and they’re still hot today, one of life’s wonderful consistencies. Applebee’s doesn’t have time for petty complaints like these. If you have a real issue with them, with some real credibility (like when they said they’re open until 11:30 and you show up at 11:25 and they won’t sit you), just tweet at them and they’ll send you a gift card (not for the complaint, but for being such an awesome customer). Totally made that story up, definitely never happened.
If you come at the king, you best not miss. Remember that.