Critiquing Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebooking

When the opportunity presents itself for me to bash on other people for their Facebook antics, I don’t ask questions. I drop what I’m doing and attend to business. It’s one of those “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” occurrences. And who better to rip on than Mark Zuckerberg himself. He’s been a hot topic of mine as of late because quie simply put, I don’t buy his phoniness. He says he doesn’t have time to pick out and outfit every morning, but now he plans on reading a new book every other week. You wanna build a social media empire and become the world’s youngest billionaire, fine by me. But don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining. But I digress. Fuckerberg took his New Years Resolution (loser) to Facebook page, laying out some of his previous ones as well as this new one. In the process, he challenged other people to suggest new ones for him. And his responses were vintage Fuckerberg.

fb Mark Zuckerberg: college dropout AND a bad dancer? What a mess. What can we trust this guy to do? We’re gonna let this guy manage the biggest social media platform in the world when he can’t even master the Electric Slide? Seems odd to me.


fb2 What a cocky move to subtly drop the “we have 1 billion users” reminder. Savvy move from his PR team, let me tell you.


fb3 Apparently this is supposed to be some kind of joke. 1250 people found it to be hilarious, so maybe I’m the weird one for not laughing aka suckling at the power teet. PS- He called the shit “poop”.


fb4 Let’s pump the brakes. Did he suddenly realize that he doesn’t have time to read a book every two weeks? Maybe he doesn’t realize that he already committed to reading a book every 2 weeks. I hate this guy.


fb5 If he’s as smart as everyone makes him out to be, he would have already thought of this. This just seems like an insincere acknowledgement to try and please people. It’s pretty clear he probably doesn’t care about the Muslim holidays. The man has eight nights of Hanukkah to honor.


Not one “lol” or “lmao” reference. Some Facebook founder he is. F minus.



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