2015 aka 365 days of Eric.
Resolutions are for losers, plain and simple. Depressed people make false promises to themselves to pretend they’re gonna actually make changes in their lives. These are often the same people who say “New year, new me” or my new personal favorite “Bring it on 2015!” Mostly all of them fail, and all of them end with an exclamation point (it’s a girl thing I think). Some of the common ones are:
-Go to the gym every day!
That’s all really cute, but it’s a bunch of nonsense. Baloney. Rubbish. Garbage (pronounce gar-bahhj, sounds French). There’s really no reason to have to start making changes on the first day of the year; all it takes is a little motivation and determination. Set goals and be proactive. It’s pretty simple really. Make a few minor changes in your day-to-day habits, and that subsequently leads to major changes in your life. With all that said, I do have a list of goals and things to do in the next calendar year. There’s a difference between this and resolutions because A) I’m actually going to do these things B) I gave it a different name C) these are specifically geared towards my life, none of that vague, arbitrary mumbo jumbo.
1. Rid cable television of all of those anti-smoking and animal abuse commercials.
There is nothing worse than watching a game or a TV show only to be interrupted by some lady on her death bed with a hole in her neck. And I don’t wanna see sad puppies with melancholy music that makes me wanna kill myself. Commercials should be related to the show. I will not rest until all happy shows get happy commercials.
2. Be on television with my twitter handle displayed on screen.
Essentially this proof that you “made it”, basically. All the great ones do it.
3. Blog more and make money doing it.
4. Film a badass video with my GoPro.
5. Hangout with more famous people.
6. Find those missing planes.
Somebody knows something.
7. Acquire new insults.
I usually just call people clowns, losers, and assholes. I need more material.
That’s it. It’s 365 days of Eric this year. Usually Sundays are Eric Days, but every day is an Eric day moving forward. I’m doing and saying what I want, more than usual. Should be fun.