Who’s The King? I’m The King


There comes a time in everyone’s life where they fall into a position of power. It can be due to hard work and effort or simply a little luck at the right time. I am in a position of power now, in my home. It’s officially my house now I’m pretty sure. It’s mi casa and my parents are just living there. I let my brother and British James crash there too because part of being a superior means giving back. They’re by no means charity cases, I love them, they’re all great people. But facts are facts, and I basically make the rules now. I’ve always pretty much been in charge, mastering the little things like stocking the mini fridge, controlling the DVR, and being the only person who knows how to use the universal remote. But those are small potatoes as they say.

I had a major epiphany the other day. I figured it was about time I started making changes in my humble abode. Two major changes were implemented. The first is not a permanent situation, but for the foreseeable future, this will be in full effect. The bathroom floor warmer is on. You may not think that’s a big deal. You also may not have a valid opinion because it’s in fact a very big deal. Monumental, actually. Being cold in the morning is a routine for too many people, but it’s avoidable. The last thing I want when I begin my morning routine is step foot on a cold tile floor in the bathroom. I’ve been through too much to walk on cold ground. From now until it gets warm out, or until I deem it appropriate, the bathroom floor will be between 75-82 degrees. Warm feet for everyone!

But wait… There’s more! No need to preface this anything, but I will say that this is arguably the greatest action I’ve ever taken. I’ve decided that from now on, until the day I die, there will be ice cream sandwiches in my house at all times. At any time of day, any day of the year, the classic, the old reliable, the famous ice cream sandwich will be in stock readily available. I made my mother write it on her list, underline each word, and show me the proof. That’s no exaggeration. When I first proposed this idea of sheer brilliance, Mama Dukes and Pops laughed. The next day there were ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. I truly truly believe when I left the room, they had a conversation about how great of an idea it was. I have no doubt that’s exactly what happened.

There are other staples that should be on hand all the time (Ellio’s Pizza, Stauffer’s Mac and Cheese), but this triumphs all. Did I do it again or did I do it again? Lemme know when you know.

PS- Had to google how to spell epiphany.

PS2- I have 2 wallet size pictures of the picture above, probably gonna sign them and auction them off one day (and most likely buy more ice cream sammies with the proceeds). The ultimate “rare collectible”.


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