Dude Throws Out Female Roommate’s Spaghetti, Is Deservingly Set Ablaze

PzFeed: An argument turned vicious in Florida when an incensed woman poured fingernail polish remover over her roommate then ignited it. The fight, according to a witness, erupted after Carlos Ortiz Jr., 42, threw out Melissa Dawn Sellers’ spaghetti and meatballs, according to Clearwater police.

“She was setting little objects on fire, then that turned into pouring nail polish remover all over him, and then all of a sudden, the lighter sparked and he lit on fire,” said Ines Causevic, a friend of the victim, Bay News 9 reported. He is hospitalized in critical condition with burns to his face and torso, the station said. “When he got up, his face was like melting off,” Causevic said. “His lips were burning.” Sellers, 33, was charged with aggravated battery. She has a prior conviction from 2008 for battery.

Ahh the old “you threw my spaghetti out so I will not light you on fire”. Seems fair I’d say. If I’ve learned one thing in 22+ years, it’s that if some crazy chick with a previous battery record loses her job at Walmart and moves in with me, I’m not gonna throw out her spaghetti and meatballs. If I decide to compromise those morals, there’s a good chance she sets pours nail polish all over me and then sets me on fire. It’s basic common sense really. Walmart workers are total wildcards. You literally never know what they’re gonna do. I bet she doesn’t even eat spaghetti, she just left a trap for the roommate so she could manufacture a merited excuse to almost kill him with fire. That’s such a Walmart move.

I have a problem at home with people deleting my shows on DVR. I don’t know who’s doing it, and nobody owns up to it, but they are mysteriously disappearing. Now I have to start recording shows that I don’t actually watch, and when I catch the perpetrator(s) in the act, they will promptly go up in flames. That’s it. Spaghetti Lady got me heated. Little side note: that mug shot is golden. I’ve never seen someone so proud of being caught after lighting their selfish roommate on fire.



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