My 2 Month Instagram Anniversary

Oh my goodness I almost forgot my anniversary! This week marks 2 months as an Instagrammer (is that a common term?). It’s been fun. There have been ups and downs as there are in any relationship. I hit 100 likes on my 7th picture, I think that’s pretty impressive. Instagram is pretty cool overall I’d have to say. I’m not gonna say I regret waiting so long to get one because that’s just a fallacy. Yeah there are some cool things about it, but there are some things I don’t like (obviously), and some things that make me scratch my head. I’ve also learned a few things, starting to get the hang of it. I’ll lay it all out.

-People love food. Food pictures get the most double taps, and I’ll hear no arguments about it. My only good picture was the most successful. Coincidence? Not even a little bit.

-It’s very similar to twitter. If you tweet ALL THE TIME, people will be annoyed, but more importantly the high quality tweets are more likely to go unnoticed or under appreciated. If you’re posting three, four pictures on Instagram a day, you need to post two, three less. Less is more. Quality over quantity. I’ve had my Instagram live for just over 8 weeks, and I’ve only posted 7 pictures. I’m also not a big picture guy, but when I post pictures, I want to make them count. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me. Apparently not everyone shares the same mentality. But if you’re posting a lot of pictures, I disagree with your lifestyle and I disapprove of you as a person. Take that childish behavior to Snapchat.

-Girls have an unfair advantage. I noticed this one day. They have so many more followers just because more people (guys) wanna see their pictures. The average girl’s Instagram follower ratio is blown way out of proportion, strictly because dudes wanna like their pictures. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Your pictures aren’t all that great, but you’re a girl, and guys like girls, and guys like girls’ pictures as a way of saying that that guy likes that girl. Too confusing? If I instagrammed (I’m picking up on some of the lingo) a selfie of me driving my car, and a girl instagrammed a selfie of her driving her car, who would get more likes? Case closed.

-Anyone who posts a quote on Instagram should face a suspension. I’m going to write a letter and send it to InstagramHQ about this. A quote is not a picture. You wanna post a stupid quote? Put it on twitter. Nobody will appreciate it, except the other losers who post that meaningless shit, and I will still hate you for it, but there’s no place for it on Instagram. When I scroll down the page, I wanna see interesting, funny, and captivating pictures. I wanna see what your dinner looked like, I wanna see the cool places you visited. I don’t want to READ an Emily Dickinson quote. Get that shit out of my face.

-Instagram has actually augmented my prominent status on Twitter. I can now follow people on Instagram and unfollow them on Twitter. Now that I can see pictures of them, I can essentially make a lot of people feel like I’m interested in them while I promptly unfollow them on Twitter. So they feel important (because most people seem to prefer Instagram to Twitter), and I can hide the face that I don’t care about their thoughts or what they have to say. I just wanna see their pictures. My twitter ratio is better than it’s ever been.

-I don’t like that you can’t see if someone follows you just by looking at their profile. It might be there, I might just be too dumb to notice it, but it should be more clear, LIKE TWITTER. I’m not here to play games.

-Why do people like celebrities’ Instagram pictures? It literally makes no sense. These people are getting like 200,000 double taps, yours means absolutely nothing to them. Commenting is totally different as I’m sure SOME (but in reality zero) big celebrities read the comments on their pictures. But the likes are literally pointless. It’s just like favoriting a tweet. If I favorite Justin Bieber’s tweet, he will literally never notice or care. If I double tap on Biebs’s picture, he will literally never notice or care. But people still do it. It’s mind blowing. And people who comment “first” on a celebrity’s picture, or anyone for that matter, need to just die in a hole. Try harder. You can’t.

-It seems to be pretty easy to like something accidentally. Luckily I haven’t liked anyone’s pictures from like 2 years ago. Not yet at least. But if I do, I’d appreciate if you contacted me personally so I can explain myself instead of group chatting your friends saying how weird I am. Thanks.

-I don’t know how to direct message someone. I don’t know how to make a “pic stitch”. Not that I actually want to do those things, but I’d like to know how should my feelings change.

-Terrio is hilarious and I love him.

-I will probably unfollow most of the people I followed thus far. I just had to put myself out there ya know?

-Twitter is so much better than Instagram, and it’s not even close.

-I’m still new to this so follow the boy on Instagram @ TheEricHammer. Actually I’d rather you follow me on Twitter, that means way more to me.

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