Man Accused Of Stealing $1200 Worth Of Meat And Hiding It In His Pants

ABC News: A New York supermarket employee has been accused of leaving the store with $1,200 worth of meat hidden in his pants. State police say Gregory Rodriguez, of Ossining, is charged with fourth-degree grand larceny. Rodriguez works at the A&P in Croton-on-Hudson. Police were called Monday about the theft. Rodriguez was arrested Tuesday. A state police spokeswoman, Trooper Melissa McMorris, says the theft occurred in one day. She did not know if it involved more than one trip to the store. Rodriguez was arraigned Tuesday night in Cortlandt and sent to the Westchester County Jail. The court clerk says no lawyer was present and no plea was entered. Rodriguez is due back in court with an attorney on Friday.

Accused and convicted are two totally different things. In this great country we call America you are innocent until proven guilty. And I don’t know if this guy did it or not but I commend his efforts. How many lamb chops makes $1,200? I don’t think $1,200 worth of meat is even that much, but I’m pretty sure you couldn’t find it in your pants. Regardless, fourth-degree grand larceny seems a bit over the top if you ask me. It’s just a hilarious situation for all parties involved. “Gregory Rodriguez, you are under arrest for stealing all the filets from A&P which somehow falls under the jurisdiction of fourth-degree grand larceny. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, unless you host a big BBQ for me and my partner here.”

I’m sure there’s more to the story than this, but the details seem pretty scarce and ambiguous at that. Don’t supermarkets have security cameras? Then again, this is A&P we’re talking about, not Wegmans. But I respect the hell out of this guy. Nowadays you often hear about these intricate, elaborate heist plots that usually fall unsuccessful. Señor Rodriguez here didn’t over think it at all. I’m even gonna say he didn’t plan it out at all, and this was just a totally spontaneous and impulsive move. He probably works in the product department, took a walk past the ribs and just lost control and shoved them all down his pants. Sometimes those are the ones you gotta look out for. This guy is a complete wildcard, nobody knows what his next move might be. He’s a different kind of animal, but in the spirit of BBQing, I consider him a fellow comrade and almost a friend.

If I’m on the jury this guy is acquitted of all charges. And even if he does time, you KNOW that big feast he had Monday night was all worth it. Prob still had the meat sweats when he got picked up Tuesday.

PS- If you’ve never gotten the meat sweats you haven’t BBQ’d hard enough.



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