China Continues To Prove Why They’re The Weirdest Country In The World

BBC: Perhaps drawing inspiration from Spiderman, beachgoers in China’s eastern city of Qingdao have come up with a novel way of protecting their skin from the sun. They call it the “face-kini”. It was first sported by middle-aged women as a practical addition to their swimsuits, but now the face-kini has gone global. New York-based style magazine CR Fashion Book, founded by former Vogue Paris editor Carine Roitfeld, recently published a photo shoot of models with pouting red lips, wearing face-kinis, chic swimsuits and fancy jewellery.

The transformation of what’s considered the epitome of “old woman style” in China to high fashion has amused Internet users. In two days, the subject sparked almost 12 million posts on the Chinese equivalent of Twitter, Weibo. “Chinese old women are at the centre of the global fashion world,” said one comment. “It looks like bank robbers are raiding the beach,” others joked. When it comes to avoiding the sun, it seems Chinese creativity is unlimited. Apart from the face-kini, the Chinese use special UV-blocking sun umbrellas which can be attached to bike handles. There are also sun-blocking removable sleeves and Batman-style capes. The list goes on.

My dear lord that is frightening. You would think in a country with 2 billion people, everything has been done before at some point. If you thought that, you thought wrong. China just continues to live up to the many stereotypes and remains to just be weird all the time. If it’s not this it’s something else. I guess when there’s so many people, trends spread and fall off at the blink of an eye. They get bored I guess, I don’t know.

They’re either wearing these bondage porn Spiderman masks, batman capes, or those stupid dental masks. Why don’t they just stay inside? They’re afraid of SARS, Bird Flu, and the sun, so what’s the point of leaving the house? You know how to preserve and maintain your fare skin? You stay out of the sun. It’s taken decade and decades of testing but they’re saying the best way to protect yourself from the sun is to not be in it. Who knew right? It’s a mystery. And I don’t care if you’re Asian, American, old, young, black, white, brown, green, whatever. Umbrellas for the sun are totally unacceptable. There are zero situations where they’re okay. They should be on my list of people that I hate.

They just look like they’re about to be tied up and gagged and hit with belts on film so the REAL weirdos, the people who are into that kinda thing, can watch some freaky Asian pixelated porn. “Bank robbers” is also spot on analysis. I mean these people look totally ridiculous. It’s like a premature Halloween thing. Can you imagine if you saw someone at one of our beaches with this Hannibal Lecter masks on? I’d stay the FUCK away from them, and far. I would just assume they have some terminal, highly contagious disease that I would contract from being within a reasonable vicinity as them. All eyes would be on them. Photo shoot or not, this will NEVER become a thing in the United States. In the off chance that it does, I’ll be on the next flight out. I’ll be on my way to a country with no “face-kinis” and no Ebola. Canadians seem like tranquil folk, maybe I’ll just make the smooth transition across the northern border.

It’s like they have an agenda, a weird, freaky, unexplainable agenda that Americans are to be no part of. It’s not the illuminati or Anonymous we need to be worrisome of. It’s the city of Qingdao, China that brings great peril to our lives as we know it. But there’s a reason air traffic controllers all use English. It’s not a numbers game anymore, it’s quality over quantity.

The generation gap is astounding in the Far East. The old people wear these bank leather sun mask “face-kinis” and the children all work in sweatshops bleeding at the hands making iPhones and sneakers for a nickel a day.

PS- Western civilization, or don’t.





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