The Greatest America’s Got Talent Audition Ever


84 year old Ray Jessel just slaying the competition and nailing his audish (that’s short for audition if you didn’t know). We’ve just seen the greatest audition of all time from the most unlikely of characters, Albert Einstein himself. Whenever you see someone like this come on stage on one of these shows, you pray that they’re good. They look like losers, but you hope and wish they’ll surprise you. You want them to be awesome. This renders true for my man Ray Ray here. I wasn’t expecting much. Old geyser comes on stage with messy hair, sloppy tie, old skin loose and jiggly. But I was never so happy to hesitate on changing the channel. I knew I was in for a treat one war or another, I mean the guy couldn’t even put the microphone on the stand. Song started out cute, about some girl he probably met before we had cars and televisions. And then BAM! “She’s got a penis.” As casual as can be. Laugh out loud funny. Catching America totally off guard. Was it just me or did Scary Spice look like she wet her pants for a second? Or was that Heidi Klum? Both? IDK. Howie Mandel loving every second of it, and to be honest I don’t know why he was the only one reacting like this. That is the ONLY reaction to something like this. Laughter, tears, standing ovation. Pure brilliance from Ray. And that last bridge leading to the last line was solid gold.

He got four YES’s by the way.


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