Best Of Manalapan Residents Facebook Group: Part 5

Last week’s events are a tough act to follow. But it’s literally impossible to go a week without being entertained by these people. That’s all they are to me, “these people”. I don’t like being associated with “these people”, but oddly enough I think I need “these people”. I have a feeling there’s plenty more to come.


mpan Yet another clear indication of generation gap. The only people who call others punks are old people. “Punk” is as dead an insult as there is, totally obsolete. And it’s pretty evident that this Anthony character is all talk. Threatening local “punks” who ruined his mailbox planter is as immature as it gets. Also, don’t know what a planter box even is or how it could be on a mailbox. No need to call anyone a punk anymore anyway. I believe the new lingo is “Manalabrats”. Gold.


mpan2Totally diabolic move from big Joe here.  Straight up flipping the game upside down on its head. Trolling the Manalapan Facebook Group like never before. And I thought I was making jokes. Well played, Joseph.


mpan3I think I’m gonna call this kid just to hang out with him and pick his brain a little. It’s one thing to offer up tutoring services. It’s another to involve pizza. And it’s even more brilliant to advertise with pizza math. Innovative and ingenious. Zack is a pioneer as far as I’m concerned.


mpan4For some reason I don’t think they’re gonna let me in this group. So I’m gonna need someone to infiltrate and serve as a resource spy for me. And this “no fighting no judging” policy is comical, sorry. What’s the point of a women’s only group anyway?


mpan5 Oh no, my marigolds! Take my eyes, not the marigolds!


One thought on “Best Of Manalapan Residents Facebook Group: Part 5

  1. I’m in the Manalapan Women’s page. They won’t let me in the regular one. In fact, I’ve been blocked from asking to join again. I’m not Manalapan enough, even though I (sadly) live here now amongst these people. The real comedic gold is on the main page, not the women’s page.

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