Best Of Manalapan Residents Facebook Group: Part 3

So much material this week hooooo my god. People are getting dumber and dumber, thus making the Facebook activity funnier and funnier. We have lots to talk about, guys.

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(Donna) I mean I have to inquire about this right? I’m already pretty tired of working a desk job in the city everyday, and I’ve always known the entertainment industry is a gold mine waiting for my arrival. I’ll do the whole nine yards, face paint, balloon animals (when I learn how to do so), magic tricks (when I learn how to do so), tell jokes (when I learn some), whatever needs to be done. Donna’s better off going with me instead of the “insane band” Lacey proposed. They’re five years old, lady, Jesus Christ.

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(Veronica) Yes, quite random. Is strawberry picking a thing? Like can you actually do that? I’ve heard of apple picking and pumpkin picking. What’s the fun in picking strawberries? Sounds like a bad time to me. I’m all for trying different things, but when it comes to strawberries I don’t have any kind of time for that. Now that I’m in the real world with a real job, my spare time is more valuable than ever. I’m not wasting 2 hours on a Saturday outside picking which strawberries I want to take home. And even if strawberry picking is a real thing, this lady is acting like it’s a popular thing and people know which place has the best selection. Best of luck with ya berries.

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(Neil) Interesting strategy from my boy Neil, here. Expressing a need for a tutor with directions to text him off line, yet refusing to provide a phone number. Bold call. Maybe your tutor should have a decent grasp on grammar too, eh, Neil (back ground)? Can you even text someone online?

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(Mary) HELLO?! CAN SOMEONE GIVE MARY’S SON A GOOD FADE?! I’m no barber but I’m pretty sure a fade is pretty elementary at this point. We’re in Manalapan, like 40% of teenagers cut hair. Leave your son’s hair problems to your son. But I can’t even get mad at Mary in this situation. She does need to stop trying to fix all of her son’s problems, but her son needs to stop being a whiny little bitch about his shitty haircuts. This is the type of kid who makes his mom order his food at a restaurant because he’s afraid to speak up like a mature person. Grow up.

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(Susan) Wow! Some people have such nerve these days! How dare they! Relax there, Susan. Who are you to tell me I’m driving too fast? It’s somewhat obvious that if someone passes you when you’re driving, especially a double yellow, then you’re driving too slow or you’re doing something wrong. You know what’s fun? Passing a student driver, get in their head. That’s always a good time.

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(Lino) This lady literally has to be the only person in the world to ever leave her keys in her car with the engine running. And then she does it again. And then she brags about her stupidity which seems to embrace with a strange sense of pride. Lino is the epitome of the reputation that Manalapan has, except for the whole Honda Odyssey thing.

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(Jill) Susan needs to stop being such a kiss ass. Just keep your mouth shut instead of saying “Oh, I’d love to help you but I can’t”. If you truly wanted to help, if you were truly sorry, you would just buy her the bus ticket. This is why this group is so active. Because people just respond to people to create interaction. It is literally pointless to comment like Susan did here on anything. There’s also a zero percent chance he would lend her husband’s monthly bus pass to anyone. That just makes no sense. And as for you, Jill, if that is your real name, maybe buy a ticket on the bus? I don’t know.

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