How Many House Phones Is Too Many House Phones?

The infamous house phone is soon to be obsolete. We are quickly approaching a world where house phones cease to exist. There are literally one zillion other means of communications nowadays that take precedence over landlines. I mean you got 11 year olds with iPhones for christ’s sake. I hate house phones and all that they stand for. I hate them so much that I refuse to answer mine. My parents know when the house phone rings I will not answer it. If I am the only person home, it goes to answering machine. I want nothing to do with the house phone. So I propose a question. How many house phones is too many house phones?

I understand why they are still in use today. It’s a generation thing. The house phone is often used as an emergency contact and whatnot. There are reasons why the house phone is necessary, though those reasons are becoming less and less important. I refuse to have a house phone when I get my first house. If my wife wants a house phone, I will contemplate divorce. My house has FOUR house phones. That is so outrageous it’s crazy. Personally I think it’s four too many. But since I’m a reasonable and logical person, the number is two. Households should have 2 house phones. One in the master bedroom, one in the kitchen. And that is it. We have one in my parents’ room, one in the kitchen, one in the dining room, and one in the downstairs living room. You can’t turn a corner without seeing a house phone, it’s wild. Two is the maximum. There is absolutely no need for more than two. If I’m eating dinner with my brother and parents, there are EIGHT phones I can use to call someone. EIGHT. Crazy town. That’s where I live. I live in Crazy Town.


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